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“You’re joking, right?” I tipped my head to the side. “You were like Tony’s brother.”
“Like and actually are two different things. Just drop it, sweets. I was fine on my own for a day.”
“What did you do?” I asked. “Sit at home waiting for the clock to turn the twenty-sixth?”
“Basically,” Claus laughed. “Though I did start volunteering at the homeless shelter when I got older. This will be my fifteenth year dishing out Christmas ham.”
How did I not know this? “You just blew my mind. How did I not know this about you?”
“Because you had your own life to worry about, sweets. Why would you care about what I was doing?”
Because I cared about him. Even if he was my brother’s best friend, I still cared about him and didn’t want him to be spending the holidays by himself. “So, what are you doing this Christmas?” I asked.
“I told you. This will be my fifteenth year volunteering.”
I tipped my head to the side. “Well, then, I guess this will be my first year volunteering. And also Jane and Tony’s first year. We can all meet here, then head to the shelter after breakfast and opening presents.”
“You don’t have to do that, Stevie,” Claus called.
I shrugged and turned back to the tree. “You’re right, I don’t, but I want to.” And plus, it would maybe help me feel better because I felt selfish and self-absorbed for not knowing all these years Claus was alone on Christmas. I glanced at him over my shoulder. “Kind of like you didn’t need to come over tonight, but here you are. I’m sure Jane put you up to it since she’s not here. I about had to put her on the plane to Hawaii because she was so worried about me.” I looked up at the tree and sighed. “Did you know she hated Paul?”
“Pretty sure we all hated Paul besides you, sweets,” Claus chuckled. “All we needed was to print up some shirts, and it would have been official.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Well, I’m part of the Paul hater club now. I just don’t understand why he couldn’t have told me before the wedding. Just tell me he didn’t want me anymore and not do it in front of a room full of our friends and family. Would that have been so hard?” I whispered.
“He wasn’t a good guy. Thankfully, the trash took itself out.”
Wasn’t that the truth? “Why didn’t you guys tell me?” I turned back to him. “I had no idea any of you didn’t like Paul until after he ditched me at the altar.”
He shrugged. “I didn’t think it was my place.”
“So you were just going to stand by and watch me marry that asshole?”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “Look, sweets, I don’t have the right thing to say. Should we have all said something? Yes. Did we not because we didn’t want to be wrong or be the one to break your heart? Yes, but if I could go back and do it all over again, I would have told you to ditch the tool the first time I met him. And based on the shit you told me about him, you would have been better off the past two years.”
“You want to know the crazy thing?”
He nodded.
“I don’t even know why he called it off. I haven’t even talked to him.” I motioned to the boxes all around. “My whole life was packed up, and he doesn’t even have the decency to tell me why he doesn’t want me.”
“You’re better off not knowing and just moving on, Stevie.”
“Am I?” I whispered. “I mean, you spend two years with someone, and then they leave you without a word, and you think it’s better I not know why?” I dashed away the tear that streaked down my cheek.
“Stevie,” Claus called.
Ugh, I could hear the pity in his voice.
I didn’t want that.
Not from Claus.
Give me grumpy and growly Claus over him feeling sorry for me.
I mean, here I was crying over a guy who, looking back, was not very good for me, and I wanted to know what was wrong with me that he didn’t want me anymore.
I threw my hands up in the air. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I don’t want to think about Paul ever again.” I glared at Claus. “This is why I said you could stay but couldn’t talk. We talk, and then suddenly, we’re talking about Pussy Paul.”
