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“It broke. Last year. I was going to find a new one but …”
“You knew it was impossible since I made it.” Mom glances over her shoulder while opening the door. She gives me a smile and wink.
“Yup.” I had no idea she made it, but my feigned-innocent smile lies.
“Oh … where’s the garland on the stairs? And the mistletoe over the door? Henry …” She peeks her head into the living room. “Where’s the Christmas tree?”
“I thought we’d pick one out together.” I rest my hands on her shoulders.
There’s a clunking sound that comes from upstairs. I cough to see if it muffles the noise. “What’s that?” She straightens, eyes narrowed.
No such luck.
“What’s what?”
“That sound.”
I shrug. Again, there’s aclunk.
“Someone’s upstairs,” she says, heading toward the stairs. “Who’s here?”
“Mom, wait …”
“Did your Aunt Jan make the trip from Nebraska?”
“Mom—” I chase after her with her bags in my arms.
“OH!” Mom jumps at the top of the stairs.
Sexy Siri, wrapped in a towel, hair wet, eyes wide, slowly opens her mouth into an “O” or maybe an “oops.”
“Oh my goodness! You have a girlfriend?”
Serena says, “No” at the same time as I say, “Yes.”
Shit!
Mom’s eyes widen, red lips parted, and she releases a tiny gasp. Itisgasp worthy. That, I won’t argue. I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve had dates. Hookups. And a slew of awkward, sexual-tension filled situations with customers. Sadly, married women. But no girlfriend.
And definitely not a girlfriend who’s half-naked and denying that she’s my girlfriend.
Mom covers her mouth with a cupped hand, and she’s getting …dammit!She’s getting all teary-eyed. I’m going to dash every single hope and dream she’s ever had for me.
No house.
No real girlfriend.
Merry-fucking-your-son-is-a-loser Christmas.
“Finally!” She quickly wipes the corners of her eyes.
Serena (yes, I know her name) stiffens, tightening the sash of her white robe as my mom hugs her, ignoring Serena’s adamant “no” answer to the girlfriend question.
“I think I’ve waited my whole life to meet you,” Mom squeaks with choked emotion.
Nobody waits their whole life for anything. The female genetic code comes with an extra chromosome of drama—sheer ridiculousness.
Serena’s eyes look like they might pop out of her head from the tight hug and total ambush.
