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“Oh really? What’s your type?”
“Uglier men than you, typically.” She snorted.
“That’s very offensive,” I joked.
“Well, then you’re easily offended.”
“That I am definitely not. I’m a huge dude named Kelly, my last name is Fugger, and I design dicks for a living. Definitely not easily offended.”
She giggled. “Anyway, don’t need you to come in anyway. I have my Lucy Goosey toy tonight, thanks to you, Fucker.” She hiccupped. “Fugger. Fucker. Whatever.”
“Alright, drunky.” I laughed. “Go have fun with your Lucy Goosey. Get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow?” I reached down and kissed her forehead.
She smiled up at me and hiccupped again. “’Night, Clit-Tickler Fucker Fugger.”
KELLY
The following morning, Sarah didn’t show up for breakfast. I was disappointed, but figured she might have had a bit of a hangover and slept in. When lunchtime rolled around, I went back to her hotel even though I wasn’t hungry, hoping maybe she’d make it for the next meal. But after two hours of sitting in the lobby outside the restaurant that served lunch trying to look casual, it was clear she wasn’t coming again. I did a quick sweep around the pool and beach, thinking perhaps she’d just ordered room service and was now basking in the sun. But Sarah was nowhere to be found. It made me a little worried, so I decided to call her room from one of the hotel phones before I left to make sure she was okay.
“Hello?” a hoarse voice answered. I wasn’t even sure I’d reached the right room, the person sounded so terrible.
“Sarah?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s Kelly. Are you okay?”
“Not really. I’ve been throwing up since the middle of the night. And, well, let’s just say that’s not the only way things are exiting my body.”
“Ah. Not fun. I noticed last night that you ordered the first two margaritas on the rocks before you switched to the frosted ones. You think the ice got you?”
“Maybe.” She sighed. “I’d been so careful. But tequila makes me stupid, and apparently I’m paying for it now.”
“What can I do to help?”
“Nothing really. I think it’s mostly run its course. There’s not much left in my stomach for my body to reject. Now my head is just pounding, which is probably because I’m so dehydrated.”
“There’s a grocery store down the road. I’ll go grab you some supplies and leave them at your door.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to. Give me about ten minutes. I’ll knock to let you know when they’re there, and you can open after I leave so you have your privacy.”
“Okay, thank you.”
The trip for supplies took longer than I expected. I wound up going to two stores since the first one didn’t have everything I needed. When I arrived at Sarah’s door, I set the bag down and lightly knocked. I started to walk away, but her door opened.
I turned. “How you feeling?”
She smiled halfheartedly. “As good as I look.”
Sarah’s hair was disheveled, her skin was pale, and she didn’t have an ounce of makeup on, but she was still absolutely gorgeous. “If you feel as good as you look, then let’s go ziplining, because even sickly you’re more beautiful than any woman in this hotel.”
She blushed. “That’s sweet of you, even if it’s not true. Would you…want to come in and hang out? I don’t think what I have is contagious…”
I had actually made a reservation to go ziplining, but if my choices were an adventure in the jungle or holding Sarah’s hair back while she puked, sadly, I’d rather play ponytail holder. “Sure, if you’re up for it.”
She opened the door and stepped aside, and I whistled when I got a look at her suite. “So this is how the other half lives? The cockroaches in my place kept me up half the night singing ‘La Cucaracha.’”
