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“Do we have time to stop for burgers and milkshakes? I’m starving,” I ask, trying to change the subject. I don’t want to think about my parents anymore today. It’s been a great day, and I don’t want to ruin it.
“Only if we get onion rings,” he agrees as he pulls into the diner.
now
I’m gazing out at the atrium, daydreaming with my coffee cup in my hands that’s long gone cold. I’m tired but trying to take a break from the hustle of the ER. I asked Thad to meet me here for coffee to talk, but he didn’t show up. It’s typical of him. He’s probably still taking a nap in the on-call room. He’s not even working an eight-hour shift today. I roll my eyes. Thad is the laziest doctor we have. I don’t know what I was ever thinking by ever associating myself with him. I just went along with what my parents wanted—on autopilot like I have been doing for the past twelve years. Going through the motions of college, med school, residency. I’ve disassociated myself from my life to the point that other people made decisions for me. I start to think about what I want, what makes me happy, and I know that the life my parents have and want for me has never been it.
My coffee cup is snatched from my hands, and I scoff as I watch it land in the trash not far from where I sit.
“What the. . .?” I look up and then back down to a fresh, warm coffee cup from Baked Inn Love that slides between my hands. SJ’s big hands wrap around mine and the cup. I look up into his eyes that peek out from under his dark blue Eagles ball cap.
He’s wearing a dark gray Henley tight over his chest and with muscles in all the right places. He must have shaved, but he already has that five-o’clock shadow again that hits me right in the lady parts when he grins, and his single dimple pops. He slides into the chair across from me and leans in toward me on his elbows. And that’s when my eyes land on his lips. The same lips that I kissed the other day at the lookout. I think about those lips and imagine them on mine again. I shake myself out of these thoughts and remember that we’re not friends anymore, much less kissing buddies. Nope.
“What are you thinking about?” His mouth turns up, taking a sip of his own coffee and looking at me with satisfaction because he knows exactly what I was thinking about.
“What are you doing here?” I ask dryly, irritated that he knew I was looking at his lips and probably guessed what I was thinking about. I hate that he has this effect on me.
“You wouldn’t meet me for coffee. So I brought coffee to you,” he says as his whiskey eyes drink me in from across the table.
“Do you need to take a picture?” I mock him like he did to me the other day.
“I don’t need a picture to remember you. I remember everything,” he says evenly.
I gaze back at the atrium, trying not to look at him.
“What’s on your mind? You look lost in thought,” he asks as he follows my gaze.
I clear my throat and shake myself back to reality, but having him here right across from me casually drinking coffee is something I’ve dreamed about for over a decade. I’ve thought about this moment and what we would say. This all feels so surreal. I finally have my chance to tell him everything and ask anything, but I don’t even know where to start.
I stare at him and finally say, “I was thinking about how messed up it is that you can go from planning your future with someone to becoming complete strangers.”
He leans closer. “We’ll never be strangers,” he says firmly, his lips forming a line.
“We’re strangers now.”
“Let’s change that.” His dimple pops again.
“It’s too late.”
“And I told you it’s never too late,” he says as he takes a drink of his coffee and his throat muscles flex. Damn. How is it even possible that his throat muscles are sexy, too?
“One thing I’ve learned is that no matter how much love you have for someone, it doesn’t mean they’ll love you back the same. Every person in my life has shown me that. Except Goldie.” I stare back at him and tilt my head in a challenge.
“That’s not true.” His face softens, and he sits back, crossing his arms.
“It is true. Too much has happened. We’re not the same people anymore.”
“I know we’re not the same. I want to know you and everything that I missed.”
“Why are you doing this, SJ?” I sigh in frustration, turning the cup in my hand around, grateful to have something to focus on instead of his face.
“I need you, Callie. I’m making myself crystal clear right now so there’s no mistaking what and who I want. It’s you. A lifetime with you. There has never been a time when it wasn’t you. If I have to show up every damn day at the hospital with a good cup of coffee just to get you to glower at me, then that’s what I’ll do. Because I’ll take what I can get from you. I’m not going anywhere,” he says with his eyes focused on me.
I squirm in my seat under his warm gaze.
Crap. He means this.
ten
