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“No, we didn’t know. Callie’s my girlfriend. We’ve been best friends since the seventh grade.” I squeeze her hand reassuringly.
She looks back and forth between us like she’s trying to understand. “Hamilton gave me money to start over and signed over his rights to Kit. He said that he’d tell everyone that I tried to trap him, and if I stayed in Freedom Valley, he said he’d ruin me. And then he’d ruin Sam.”
“Why’d you leave me?” I finally choke out.
“I couldn’t take you from your dad,” she says. She puts her head down, and a sob comes out of her as she covers her mouth.
“He begged me not to go and then lost it when I tried to take you with me. He didn’t deserve that, and neither did you. You didn’t deserve to lose your dad for what I did. I thought you two would be better off without me. At least that’s what I told myself when I left.” She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand.
I’m trying to process this, and I just can’t. I’m shocked. Callie squeezes my hand. She looks equally shocked. I want to tell her that is not how I remember it. I remember that day she left me. And she didn’t even look at me, much less try to take me with her.
“Look, I know I don’t deserve to know anything. But are you happy? You’re so handsome. You look just like your dad.” She smiles at me sadly through her tears. She looks like she wants to reach out and touch me, but she hesitates, pulling back.
I start to choke up. Callie looks at me, and I stare at her. She nods and continues for me, knowing I need her to answer for me. I’m on the verge of losing it and crying.
“He’s happy. He’s had a good life with Sam. He’s the kindest and strongest person I know. He’s a talented football player. I’m sorry that you missed out on getting to know SJ. Because there’s nobody better than your son.”
“I’m so sorry,” she breathes through tears. Her face looks full of regret.
We stare at each other for a while. I don’t know what to do, but I don’t want to regret it if I don’t, so I pull her in for a hug, and we stay like that for a long time. I thought I’d feel something—like a connection to her as my mom—but there’s nothing. I feel like I’m comforting a stranger. She sobs into my chest. I pull back, put my head down, and take Callie’s hand. We leave and walk hand in hand out to the truck. I need to get out of here. She pushes me over into the passenger seat and buckles me in. I’m numb and feel like I’m in shock at what just happened. I put my face in my hands and sob, my shoulders shaking uncontrollably.
“It’s okay, SJ. It’s okay, I’m here. Let’s just get out of here, then we can talk about it.” She buckles and pulls out and heads toward home.
We don’t say a word the whole ride home, and when we pull up to our lookout spot, she looks over at me. “Well, at least we’re not related. That would be super awkward at this point.”
We look at each other disgusted. “Gross.” And then we break into a fit of laughter.
“We share a sister,” I say as I look at her, feeling dumbfounded.
“We share a sister,” she repeats, equally stunned.
“Gross,” we mutter at the same time.
“What are you feeling about all of this?” she asks.
“I feel worse, honestly. I thought maybe she’d want me; she’d want to spend more than ten minutes with me, and I don’t know…want to be my mom?” I say, my chest feeling heavy with sadness.
I shake my head in disbelief. “And I never thought you’d be dragged into this. I can’t believe my dad kept this from us all these years.”
“I think your dad’s just doing his best. He’s the only reasonable parent we have out of all of ours,” she says with a deep sigh.
“Just when I thought your dad couldn’t be any worse,” I say, shaking my head again, still trying to unpack everything that just happened.
“Well, this explains why my parents never liked you, and now you know it never had anything to do with you. It was all about them and their choices.” She cringes. “Very strange choices. Imagine my dad mixing up with a biker’s old lady. How is he still alive? Your dad really is a saint.”
I nod. “It’s crazy.”
“Why don’t you talk to Sam first and see what he says?” she suggests. “I can’t talk to my parents. Who knows what will happen if my dad knows we know? He ran your mom off with his own child. No telling what he’d do to us to keep this information from getting out. Imagine what people at the country club would say? He hooked up with a biker’s old lady, got her pregnant, and sent her away? No telling how he’d react. Honestly, let’s just get the hell out of here. Screw them. They’re all a bunch of selfish pricks.”
I stare out at the lookout, still processing everything. I can’t even believe this.
“I’m surprised Sam and the club haven’t crucified my dad,” she continues.
I nod. “Yeah, let me talk to him. He’ll be straight with me.”
This was not how I pictured that reunion with my mother would go. Things just got even more complicated.
fifteen
