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“Did he hurt you?” Zane asked.
Aubrey spun around, heart in her throat. “What? No.”
“He has nightmares. Almost every night.”
“What happened to him?” Aubrey asked.
“Gray lost his team last year and never fully recovered. He carries a lot of guilt because he’s the only one who survived.”
“Oh, God. I should go talk to him.”
But Zane shook his head, running a hand through his sleep-rumpled hair. “I wouldn’t. Give him space. He has a lot of pride and he’ll just push you away like he has with everyone else.”
With a small nod, Aubrey sank down on the edge of the couch. “Then I’ll just wait here until he gets back. In case he wants someone to talk to.”
Zane eyed her for a long moment. “If you can get him to talk that would be a miracle. Good luck. I hope you do.” Then he turned around, returning to his room.
Leaning back against the cushion, Aubrey thought over what Zane just revealed and empathy filled her.Poor Gray.He was like the big, wounded lion with the thorn in his paw. He was hurting, but he had no idea how to help himself. Aubrey knew how to fix physical trauma, but how did you heal mental trauma? She wasn’t a psychiatrist, and if Gray refused to talk about his feelings and what happened, then there wasn’t much anyone could do to help ease his burden.
She knew Gray needed to forgive himself. Survivor’s guilt was a horrible thing and a lot of former military veterans dealt with it. But was there any way to help him if he shut down and closed everyone out?
Not likely.
Curling up into a ball, Aubrey cuddled into the corner of the couch, pulled the blanket around her and breathed in Gray’s lingering scent. Spice and leather.Mmm.There had to be a way to help him. He’d helped her and now she was determined to return the favor.
Whether he liked it or not.
???
An hour after bolting from the bungalow, Gray stepped back through the sliding door feeling no better than when he’d left. It had taken a while to shake off the nightmare, but even longer to admit he was a threat to Aubrey. He had wrapped his hands around her throat and tried to strangle her.Goddammit.If he’d hurt her, he never would’ve forgiven himself.
This is exactly why he didn’t bring women home. Why he was scared to sleep in the same bed with someone.
And Aubrey was so small and delicate. It wouldn’t take much to…
No. Stop it,he scolded himself. She was fine, no thanks to him. But the idea that he could’ve hurt her, easily broken her neck without much effort, made his stomach roil. He didn’t need another loss weighing down on his shoulders. On his heart and soul.
He abruptly stopped when he saw the small form curled up on the couch. Aubrey was sound asleep, wrapped up in his blanket, and he froze. Her breathing was slow and steady, and his attention zoomed in on her delicate throat, but it was too dark to see if he’d left a mark.Fuck. He’d hate himself if he had.
Now what?he wondered. He didn’t want to wake her up, but he wasn’t going to go in his bed and leave her out here alone. Without thinking, he scooped her up into his arms and she snuggled against his chest with a soft sigh. Gardenias teased him as he walked to his room and gently laid her in the bed, pulling the covers over her.
So small.She looked fragile and vulnerable in his large bed, and he was so tempted to crawl in beside her and drag her into his arms. Maybe having Aubrey with him, so close, would keep the night terrors at bay.
Yeah, right.Wishful thinking. More than likely, he’d end up hurting her like he had earlier. Or worse. If only things were different; if only he were whole.
No, it was best if he stayed far away until she was safely on an airplane, headed back to Indiana.
And, taking a tiny piece of his heart with her.
???
The sound of voices floating in from the other room woke Aubrey. Blinking away the remnants of sleep, she saw it was a little after seven in the morning and it took her a minute to realize she was back in Gray’s bed. She’d fallen asleep on the couch waiting for him, so he must’ve carried her back in there. A part of her wished he would’ve stayed with her.
When it came to Gray, she found herself starting to wish for a lot more.
After quickly washing up in the bathroom, she got dressed in her borrowed clothes and wandered out into the living room area where the entire team and Harper were assembled. They stopped talking when she appeared.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Turning, she planned to head outside and take a walk on the beach when a hand snaked around her wrist and tugged her down on the couch. After plopping down on the cushion, she looked up at Gray.
