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“I have to leave soon,” he whispers and my heart convulses, even though I know it’s for the best. “I have to meet the bus to the airport for our away game tomorrow, but I need you to know this first.”
It’s early, and I barely slept.
My insides feel shredded and raw.
I should just leave.
But I still ask, “What do I need to know?”
His throat works, the words a rasp. “I know I fucked up. I knowwhyI fucked up. I just”—more remorse in those eyes—“don’t know how to fix it.”
I shrug. “There’s nothing to fix. You had a bad moment. I happened to be there for it—”
“Bullshit,” he says. “I took it out on you because you’renotlike the other women I’ve had in my life.”
My brows drag together.
“And that’s fucking scary.”
I inhale sharply, feel my head go a little fuzzy.
“So, instead of coming back here and groveling like I should have, I had to have Jer and Mack set me straight, and then I sat in my car all night and tried to get my fucking head together. Only…I didn’t,” he says. “Because underneath all the bullshit excuses I tried to weave about my behavior, there’s only one thing that’s actually true.”
I let out that breath.
“I’m a fucking coward.”
“What?” I frown. “No, Lake. That’s—”
His hand comes to my jaw, tilting my head up. “You got too close, saw too much, and then you didn’t react like any woman in my life ever has, and…fuck, but that made me like you even more, butterfly, and that’s fucking scary, andthat’swhat makes me a coward. Because instead of talking to you, I pushed you away.”
My heart is in my throat. My stomach is awash with butterflies.
“I mean,” I whisper. “We barely know each other, so it makes sense why—”
“Bullshit,” he says. “You know me better than anyone else in my life.”
I freeze.
Because…he’s right.
Because I’ve told him things that not even Ella knows. Because he’s let me in deep too.
“And,” he says, “because you deserve to be treated better.”
My stomach fills with butterflies. “Lake,” I breathe.
His fingers trail over my cheek, along my jaw, dip into my hair, forehead settling against mine, golden green eyes holding mine. “I’m so fucking sorry,” he murmurs. “And I’m begging you to please give me another chance to prove that I see how fucking wonderful you are.”
My knees wobble, and I exhale shakily.
I’m not sure I’m that person.
“I don’t want you to leave.” His eyes slide closed, forehead pressing closer. “I’m not sure Ieverwant you to leave.”
I go stiff, inhalation sharp. “Lake.”
“Shh,” he murmurs. “Just…” His eyes open and he straightens slightly. “Just promise me you’ll stay here, promise me you and Steve will be safe while I’m gone. Promise me you’ll fill another memory card with photos, and drink my vodka, and watch crappy movies on my TV. Promise me you won’t run off without showing me all of the beauty of you.”
