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Listened as his footsteps came closer.
Stiffened as his arms slid around me from behind, pulling me close to him, his chin resting on the top of my head.
I felt his indecision so much I could almost touch it, and I hated how I couldn’t make life easier for him by just walking away. I couldn’t walk away from something I wanted so much.
“I promised them, Lucy.”
“Me too, Jase. I promised them I wouldn’t let myself get too attached to you, but here we are.”
God, being in his arms felt good in a this-is-totally-messed-up kind of way. Despite my protests, I understood what he was saying. I even understood why it was easier for him to do random one-nighters than get involved with someone he actually cared for. He’d been told he was a screw-up for a lot of his life. Why risk adding one more person to the mix who might one day end up doing the same? Even I knew I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t be that person. The only thing I could offer him was someone who wanted to fall in love with him. Real love. Not the he’s-really-hot-and-I’d-like-to-jump-his-bones kind. I wanted to know everything about Jason and experience it with him the way we’d experienced the Eiffel Tower together.
“What are we going to do?” he asked.
“You’re giving me a choice?”
“Yes. Tell me what you think we should do.”
As he said those words, I turned around in his arms, knowing he trusted me to make the right decision. That if I said we should try, then it was because I truly thought we could make it, and if I said we should stop whatever this thing was, it was because I knew he was right, and the obstacles were too big to overcome.
I shouldn’t have turned around. Because how could there be any other option when I looked at the man I’d wanted in ways I’d never wanted anyone before?
“This isn’t just my decision. What do you want, Jase?”
“Right now?” He closed his eyes for a second and blew out a breath. “Right now, I want to kiss the woman in my arms because I think she is just about the most amazing, fearless woman in the world.”
I laughed gently. “I’m not fearless. I’m surprised you can’t feel me shaking.”
My hands, hell, my whole body trembled because I was so close. So close.
“I feel it, but you’re not shaking because you’re scared of me. You’re shaking because you want this. And that blows my mind,” he admitted.
“Why?”
“Because you get me, and you know what you’re getting into, and you’re not running away screaming.”
It was then I noticed he was shaking too, and I’d never seen that before. Not in this context. I’d seen him with women before but not this way. Not laying himself open for them and holding them like they were so precious he couldn’t let them go.
The way I’d wanted him to look at me.
“Jase,” I whispered. “I’m not asking you for forever. I’m not asking you to make a lifelong commitment. I’m just asking you to give this a try if it’s what you want.”
In response, Jason placed a hand on the back of my neck and slowly pressed his lips to mine.
Magic.
Actual magic happened the moment his mouth touched mine. It tingled through my skin and into my bloodstream, pumping joy around my body and filling my heart with the kind of happiness I couldn’t have ever imagined. The stubble on his chin rubbed against my skin, and the stirring sensation in my stomach moved lower, startling me.
How could one kiss do that to me? It made me want to make sounds I’d only ever heard in movies, and I, embarrassingly, pressed my hips into his.
Except I wasn’t entirely embarrassed—more surprised at how fast those feelings had erupted inside me.
When our lips parted, Jason rested his forehead against mine. “Let’s just take this slowly, okay?”
I nodded. “I think slow is all I can handle.” My breath sounded funny, and I let out an awkward and uncharacteristic girly giggle that made Jason laugh.
“There’s no rush, Luce. We’ve got all the time in the world.”
Chapter9
