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“I don’t think he sees me like that,” I said.“I annoy him more than anything.”
“I think you’re wrong.”Shannen twirled her glass around in her hand.“He did a thing with his eyes when he looked at you.”When I furrowed my brow, she laughed.“I don’t know how to explain it.Just, when he looked at me and Gaby, he smiled and it was friendly, but when he looked at you...his eyes just looked different.”
“Dilated pupils?”Gaby asked.“Lust swirling in those blue depths?”
Shannen picked up a cushion from behind her and launched it at Gaby.“You sound like a cheesy romance novel.”She giggled before looking at me again more seriously.“I get why you would want to be careful.I mean, he isn’t going to be here for long, so getting attached will make it hard to let him go.”
“How do you feel about holiday flings?”Gaby raised an eyebrow.
“Not great,” I admitted, although something inside me stirred at the idea.But I wasn’t really that kind of girl.I fully supported women who wanted something quick with a guy, but it didn’t feel right for me.Especially not with Donovan, and not even because he was leaving, but because of who he was.We might have been worlds apart from what we used to be, but I thought that if we were going to besomething, it was worth more than some random quickie.Our history might not have been much, but maybe it could have been under different circumstances.
A groan fell from my lips.“I can’t think about this anymore.It’s not worth it.”
“But you’re already thinking about it,” Gaby pointed out, more softly this time.“Pretending you aren’t won’t change how you feel.”
“I don’t know how I feel,” I said honestly.“It’s all really confusing.”
“But you feelsomething.”
I nodded.“Yeah, I think so.”
Before anyone else could speak, my text message tone went off, and I picked up my phone with a sigh.
Donovan
You looked beautiful tonight.
My heart fluttered in my chest, my stomach flipping over at his words and possibly the shock.I leaned over and handed the phone to Shannen, and she beamed and passed it to Gaby while I processed what I’d just read.
“Okay, well that’s just ruled out forgetting about it,” Gaby said, grinning as she leaned over the coffee table to hand my phone back to me.
“What am I...what?”I said, staring at the screen again as if I’d somehow misread it the first time.But no.I hadn’t.“Can I just say thank you?”
Shannen and Gaby both laughed, and I couldn’t help joining in, allowing myself to enjoy the message for a moment.
“What do you want to say to him?”Shannen asked.
“I don’t know!”I moaned, closing my eyes and resting my forehead on the coffee table.“I kinda want to see him, but I’m not going back to the pub in my pyjamas.”
“Sneak into his room,” Gaby teased.“Wait for him in your sexiest night clothes.”
“These are my sexiest night clothes,” I said, gesturing down at my candy cane-striped PJs, causing us all to start laughing again.It had been years since I owned anything other than comfy bedtime attire.I barely owned any sexy underwear anymore.
Fucking hell.Was I becoming a person who had gotten so comfortable that I didn’t treat myself to nice things anymore?Had I become so settled in single life I’d given up on even trying to find someone?No, it wasn’t that.I was extremely content on my own.But did that mean I shouldn’t have clothing that made me feel attractive?Had I got so used to being alone that I was in a rut somehow without realising?
“Damn him,” I said, lifting my head.“Him being here has got me second-guessing everything.Does not having sexy undies mean I’ve got boring?”
“No,” Shannen said.“It means you don’t see the point in buying it if you have nobody to show it to.I speak from experience.”
I smiled.I knew Shannen was also single and had been for a while after breaking up with a guy everyone thought she would marry.From what I knew of her, she was from a wealthy family with high expectations, but she had decided to take her own route when it came to meeting someone.I wished I had as much confidence in myself as she had.
“You are massively overthinking this,” Gaby said as she reached over for some popcorn.“You’re letting his worldwide adventures taint your view of yourself.And there’s nothing wrong with you.He just said you’re beautiful.Just enjoy that and see what happens from here.”
Wise words from my crazy friend.Gaby was a wild one, but she always came through for me when I needed her.
The fact was, Donovan and I were two very different people.People who were re-getting to know each other.An attraction might have been beginning to form, but that was all it could ever be.No point getting caught up in it, and definitely no point in getting down on myself.I loved my life as it was, and nothing was going to change that.
Chapter10
