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My heart began to pound as a flood of emotions rushed through me.The high level of what-the-fuckery was drowning out most other thoughts I had.Donovan was grinning as he pressed something on his phone, but when he looked up and saw me, his smile dropped instantly.
I was still having trouble forming a solid thought, but my heart continued to hammer as I walked into the room and placed the drinks down on the tiny bit of available space left on the coffee table.
He kept his gaze on me as if weighing up whether to say anything.Possibly wondering if I’d heard what was said.I wasn’t sure how my expression wasn’t showing anything that made my thoughts clear.Perhaps my features had frozen as much as my feet had.
That, or I was trying to decide if I was more angry or upset.
Had he just planned his next trip while in my house, or worse, had he been planning this for a while without mentioning it?
Whether I was angry would highly depend on whether he’d been pretending he didn’t know when he was leaving or if this had just happened in the past few hours.Unfortunately, I couldn’t seem to get any words to leave my lips.
“You heard that, didn’t you?”he asked.
All I could manage was a nod as a lump formed in my throat.I swallowed it down because, did I really have a right to be upset?IfI’dconcluded he would be staying until January, that was on me because he’d never confirmed it.That was a hope I’d carried.A belief I’d formed because of how close we’d become.And yet he’d very recently told me no plans had been made for his leaving, but the message I’d overheard sounded like a confirmation.A previously arranged thing.
Guilt seemed to fill his eyes.
Donovan got to his feet and took my hands in his.“Can we sit down, please?”
When I neither agreed nor declined, he pulled me to the sofa and we both sat down on the edge, knees pointed towards each other but not touching, our hands no longer joined.
“Obviously,” he began, “you weren’t supposed to hear that.”
Then why play it out loud in my house?The words were there in my mind, but they still wouldn’t come out of my mouth as annoyance and sadness continued to battle in my brain.
“Fuck, Nova,” he said, blowing out a breath.“I’m so sorry.I didn’t want you to find out like that.”
“I’m not sure exactly what I’ve found out,” I said, my voice sounding a little croaky due to the dryness in my throat, and I swallowed to moisten it.“What’s going on?”
He inhaled deeply.Concern and guilt continued to swirl in his gaze, and he said, “That was a friend of mine.His name’s Darren, and I met him on one of my first trips to Australia.He was backpacking like me, and we travelled together for a while.When I got with Paige, we went in different directions.He was in Europe for years, but we stayed in touch and he does the same thing for a living as me.His following isn’t as big as mine, but it’s big enough to make him well-known.”He paused.“Last week, he was approached by the owners of a brand new resort in the Maldives after a friend of his put in a good word for him.They want him to spend four weeks at their resort, telling his followers what it’s all about and also taking photos for their website, and they want to pay him for it all.Darren is confident in his blogging and filmography skills, but he’s always been impressed with my photography, so he asked if there was any chance he and I could collaborate on the project.The resort has only been open for a month, and they want people who can help them get the word out.While they can afford the best of the best for everything in terms of marketing, the owners are looking for some social media clout, and we have that.With Darren alone, it would have been enough, but with me on board as well, they will be able to reach hundreds of thousands of travel-obsessed people alongside their more traditional promotional efforts.They offered us a deal that was impossible to refuse, and because of the collab, Darren and I stand to make a lot more money from our channels as a bonus.”
His guilt was being replaced by excitement, his eyes lighting up the more he told me, and my stomach twinged.I couldn’t pretend it didn’t hurt a little that he was so eager to leave, but this was a huge opportunity for him.One any sane person would have difficulty refusing, so I just nodded my understanding, the lump re-forming in my throat.
Four weeks.He could always come back afterwards, right?
“Nova, this is huge,” he said, taking my hand.“It’s unusual for anything like this to come up, but the owners had spoken to some of their team, looking for influencers, and Darren had a connection with one of them.For anyone to offer something like this is almost unheard of.And there’s also a chance for more work after.If they like what we do, they said they’d be interested in us going to the resort they’re preparing in the Philippines that will be opening next summer, and maybe visiting some of the resorts they have that are already open from February to April.It wouldn’t be constant through those months, but a few weeks here and there when they want it.”
So, not four weeks.More like six months before he’d be done with the initial commitment to check out their resorts, and then on to the next one for a few weeks.I couldn’t speak for his friend, but I’d seen what Donovan could do, and there was no doubt in my mind he would be hired for longer than a month.
“Donovan...when did this negotiation begin?”I asked, and he grimaced, letting go of my hand and leaning back slightly before he spoke.
“Darren reached out last week, but I didn’t expect it to go any further than being an idea.I knew the job was his, but I didn’t think they’d want to pay both of us, no matter how rich they are.They’re a huge company, and they have a team of every kind of expert they could need without bothering with a couple of travel bloggers.Once they saw the influence we have, they decided they couldn’t afford not to work with us.They want us to start working the first week of January and offered to pay for our flights out on December 28th, so we can spend some time settling in, meeting the bosses to find out the detailed plan of what they want, and then sorting it all out.I’ve had a few video calls with them over the last few days, but they want to meet us in person as soon as possible.”
Five days.He’s leaving in five days.
I raised my eyebrows.When did he have these meetings?Most of his time that week, he’d been with me.Was he having calls in between our dates?More importantly, if he’d told me a few days ago these talks were happening, would I have let myself get closer to him?Invited him into my bed?
I couldn’t answer that.Maybe I would have done everything just the same anyway.But the problem for me was that he had been lying to me about when he was leaving, and it left a bad taste in my mouth.More so because there had been no hint of him wavering as he uttered half-truths while looking into my eyes.
“Nova, talk to me.Please.”
I wiped my palms on my jeans; they’d grown sweaty with tension while I’d been listening to him and processing his words.“Why didn’t you tell me about this as soon as you knew it was a possibility?Before anything happened between us, you knew this was something that could happen.So, why not mention it?”
He lowered his head for a second before looking back up at me.“When it was just an idea, I didn’t think I needed to mention it.And then, when talks began, I still didn’t believe it would work out.Then everything moved quickly, and Darren and I agreed we needed to jump on this chance, but at the same time, I was getting closer to you.You asked Nan and me to spend Christmas with your parents, and I just...I didn’t want to ruin the day with both of us thinking about how soon I’d be leaving.”
“And how did you think I would feel when you dropped it on me after Christmas that you would be leaving in a couple of days with no prior warning?”
He rubbed his hands over his hair, regret pouring off him so tangibly it threatened to knock me backwards.“I know, okay?I know.I just thought it would be easier to-”
