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We both look at Alex, who nods.
“As sheep go, they were pretty cute. What was the breed again?”
“Valais,” Lily and I say together.
“You don’t have sheep here?”
“No. I had goats for a little while. The fresh goat cheese was fabulous. But no matter how much you try to keep them in their pen, they get out. I just got tired of it after a while.”
The timer goes off, and Lily jumps up. I follow her. We come back into the dining room with the pasta and meatballs. Lily goes back for the garlic bread.
After dinner, we play gin rummy. She’s had more wine than usual tonight, but I can’t say I blame her. She’s more relaxed than she was earlier this evening. It seems like she’s truly enjoying herself.
I excuse myself to use the washroom. When I come back, Lily and Alex are laughing together. I stand out of sight in the hall listening. His rich baritone harmonizes perfectly with her sweet soprano.I’d know they were related just from that alone,I think.
Lily is just on the brink of stumbling, and she looks exhausted. “Well, I think I am going to go to bed. That wine…”
Lily gives me and our guest a hug and then climbs the stairs up to her bedroom. Alex helps me bring the dishes into the kitchen and heads to the sink. I still get shocked each time he helps me.
“Oh, let’s not clean up now. It’s so nice out. Want to have a beer on the porch?” he offers. “Extend the evening a little longer?”
“Sure.”
We grab two bottles out of the fridge and go outside. Alex sits down next to me on the wicker loveseat. I pull out my keys and pop the top off my beer then hand the bottle opener to Alex.
“Cheers.”
We clink and drink.
“This must have been a nice place to grow up.”
“I didn’t actually grow up here. My mom died when I was sixteen. Lily took me in.”
I look at Alex. He looks right into my eyes. Something inside me cracks open.
“It was really hard. I mean, I did spend a lot of time here growing up. And I loved Lily. And those goats she was talking about before, I loved them. She let me name the babies sometimes. Once there were quadruplets.”
I fall silent, thinking about it. Not the goats, though that was the most amazing thing my eight-year-old self had ever seen. I'm thinking about my mom.
“It must have been hard to lose your mom. I lost my dad, too. I know how hard it is.”
I look right into his eyes. I don’t want to spend the evening talking about our dead parents. I’d rather enjoy feeling very alive with this beautiful man.
“What was it like growing up in a palace?”
“You know how people say you don’t have to be alone to be lonely?”
“Yeah.”
“That kind of sums it up. I think at least if you are alone, you have a reason to feel lonely. I just always felt like I didn’t belong. Something just wasn’t right.”
I can see the pain in his face, and I have an overwhelming urge to stroke his cheek as if somehow that would make it better. The alcohol is knocking down my inhibitions left and right.
I get up and turn the porch light off.
“Should I go?”
“No, I just want to look at the stars.”
