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He smelled so good. We had so much fun today, and then he said wanted to kiss me. I close my eyes and remember the feeling of lying on top of him, his hand slowly moving up my side. The closer he got to my breast, the more I wanted him to touch me. Time seemed to stand still.
Then his phone rang.
The timing was a little too perfect. Maybe fate intervened before we went too far. I’ll probably be dreaming about him long after he’s gone. Because he will be gone. He has his princely duties. I have mine here at the ranch.
I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. My heart, still racing from the combination of the kiss and the news about the King, finally begins to slow down. I sigh as the tension leaves my body.
I finish my water and put the glass in the sink. Then I fill a glass for Lily and for Alex. She’s as devastated as he is. Maybe more. Decades of loving someone and never having them might be what hell feels like.
A memory floods my mind, as clear as if it took place yesterday. I was eight or nine. I was out in the goat pen when Mama and I were over visiting. I came in for whatever reason. I have no idea now.
I heard my mom telling Lily that she couldn’t mourn the past forever. She had to live in the present. Move on.
Usually, something like that, especially at that age, would have left my mind as soon as it entered when there were baby goats to play with. But there was a desperation to the conversation that I never forgot.
I take the glass of water for Lily now and head toward the living room. You don’t just get over a love like that. I know that consciously, but I’ve never seen the pain of it on another person’s face.
And you don’t just get over giving up your baby. Handing him over to strangers.
I hear Alex speaking to Lily as I start to enter the living room. Something in his tone stops me in my tracks.
“I need to be completely honest and come clean,” he says. I step back against the wall just outside the door frame.
“I was raised in my uncle’s household after my father died, and he treated me no differently from his own children. But I have no recognized legal birthright to the throne.”
“I see,” Lily says.
“Solvaria is a more… progressive country now than it was years ago. My uncle made it clear to all of his children that he would choose whoever he felt was best to rule, regardless of birth order.”
“That sounds like Francis.”
I can picture Lily’s face from the tone of her voice. She’s got that sad smile of hers.
“Of course, everyone, myself included, assumed that he didn’t mean me. I mean, blood is still blood.”
“You are his blood.”
“Yes, but his nephew. That’s different. But when I was sent here, he told me that if I got you to come see him, he would consider me for succession.”
Lily gasps. White hot fury rushes through my body. I want to throw the glass at the wall. No, I want to walk in there and throw it in his face.
You manipulative bastard,I think furiously as I race up the stairs. I have to get as far away from him as possible. I can hear Alex talking, but the words can’t penetrate the rage pounding in my head.
I lock myself in my bedroom and set down the glass of water. Then I throw myself on my bed and furiously punch my pillow.
How. Could. You. Be. So. Stupid,I tell myself, one punch for every word.
Thank God I didn’t sleep with him. Kissing him was bad enough. I should have known. He was only looking out for his personal gain. I lie back down on my bed, collapsing onto it.
Kissing him was a big mistake in more ways than one. It was also without a doubt the best kiss of my life. The connection I felt as our lips touched, his hand on my body. He knows what he is doing.
I grab the pillow and smash it on top of my face. I have to get it together. Yes, he is hotter than hell. Yes, he is a fabulous kisser. Yes, the sexual chemistry is undeniable. But he’s also not to be trusted.
For all I know, that kiss was just to get me to let my guard down. And what did he do after the kiss? He asked me to help convince Lily to go see the King. And then he uses a sob story about his position in the family to convince Lily.
Maybe it was fake. Was the news about his father fake, too? When you can’t trust someone with small things, you don’t know where the line is drawn.
I hear the front door slam. He must be leaving. Good. Go back to Solvaria and stay there. I get up, yank off my clothes, and crawl into bed.
