Page 22 of Prince Un-Charming


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I hear the ominous sound of her phone dinging. “He’s free tonight, Vivi!”

My siblings are snickering, side-eying, and looking at this scene intently. If the situation weren’t so tense, I’d ask who wants popcorn.

“I’m not going, Mom.”

“Yes. You are.”

“How do you know I don’t have anything going on tonight?”

“Do you?”

“Mom. I can find my own man. I don’t need to go out with your friends’ sons.”

“You can? Because you haven’t. And those dating apps, I don’t like the idea of you on them. Tickler? What’s it called?”

My siblings all die laughing, as do my older nieces and nephews. Why do I have to be the one forced to keep a straight face right now?

“Mom. No. I’m not going.”

“Yes. You. Are.” She takes my hand, and her tone gets serious. “Look, sweetheart, we’ve wanted to talk to you about the future. Your dad and I have been making our will, and we’re going to leave this cabin to you, you know.”

I just nod, uncertain where this is going.

“All of your siblings are so much older. They’re established. You’re the baby. And I see you as being the glue one day. But until you’re married, I want to change who the cabin goes to. I want this to be a place wherea familycan come. Not a single woman.”

My father stands up, his face like the Easter Island statues.

“That’s enough, Adela. I think she understands. I don’t like this.” He disagrees with my mom, but it’s not a battle he wants to fight at this moment. Especially because he probably has no worries about me finding someone who’s worthy of me.

On principle, how dare my mother use this place I love and the fear of their deaths as a bargaining chip? I only deserve something if I have a man?

I gather my bag and stand up.

“I think I’d better leave. I have a lot of work to do if I’m going to find a man. I’d better get started now. Text me the info for Edgar or whatever.”

I turn around and walk down the stairs.

“Wait…”

“Viv… Don’t go…”

“Aunt Vivienne! Don’t leave yet…” That last voice, Marty, breaks my heart. She’s like a younger version of me, with her curly hair, dark brown eyes, and idealism.

Dionne runs down the stairs again. Only the sight of Felix’s little face cheers me up. She gives me a hug. “Viv, don’t pay her any mind. You’re fine. When I was twenty-four…”

“I need to just collect my thoughts, Dee. I love you. We’ll talk soon, okay? Promise.”

I get in the car and start the engine, seeing the faces all turned in my direction. Let them look. I feel myself shaking. Why can’t I just have a nice, normal lunch with my family? Why are all the families I keep hearing about so dysfun…

And then I think of the most dysfunctional family I’ve heard about lately. I have the craziest thought – that maybe Caesar isn’t that crazy.

It would feel pretty great to have a ready-made husband to shove in their faces right now.

I speed up the Turnpike faster than I should, then zip through the Holland Tunnel and straight to Caesar’s condo. I park, use the key card to go up to his floor, then ring. No answer. I call him.

“Pick up, pick up…”

On the third ring, he answers. “Vivienne? Is everything okay?”

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