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“Then nothing. I’ll find another job. I have some savings until the divorce is final, but he won’t contest my terms. I’ll make sure we’re taken care of and that’s that.”
“I don’t mean financially.” She softens, sitting on the side of the bed and placing her hand over mine. “What are you going to do with your life? I thought the whole reason you were working for Caesar in the first place was to get onto the world stage and make a difference.”
“I can still figure out a career, with or without Caesar Vanecourt. You know that. I can work on the Hill, for Daddy even. I can work for a non-governmental organization. I can do anything I put my mind to, Mama.”
“That may be. But it might be a little fun to sit in that office for a while, while you look for another job, and to make him watch you get bigger every day carrying his child. Then he can watch as you use his money and influence to be a better diplomat than he ever could have hoped for himself.”
I hesitate, chewing my lip.
Mom sighs. “I don’t mean to lecture you when you’re down. But you have a support system here. If things look different than you thought they would, that doesn’t have to cost you everything you hoped for. We’ll make sure none of this stops you from your dreams coming true.”
I look her in the eye so she can see my tears.
“Oh, honey. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Mom.”
She smiles. “Won’t be too long now, you’ll have someone saying that to you.”
I start crying harder, wanting to hear it from Caesar. I know he will probably never say those words.
My mom leaves the soup, medicine, and water for me. I realize she’s right. This may not have been the way I wanted to start a family, but I have to make the most of it.
After the pill kicks in, I feel much better physically, but the extra burst of energy only serves to make me feel restless. The walls are closing in on me, so I retreat to my old refuge, the treehouse.
I climb up and bring the ladder up with me, which always made me feel safer as a kid. No one can get up, even if they wanted to.
I bring some photo albums with me up there and leaf through old pictures. I allow myself to think about my baby’s future for the first time. I consider the summer camps she might go to or the friends he might make at school.
I imagine him sitting at the table doing his homework or learning to garden with my family. Checking my phone for the umpteenth time since that awful morning, I see that Caesar still hasn’t called.
“Well, peanut, it looks like we’re on our own,” I say to my belly. “I’m going to take such good care of you.”
It’s then that I hear rustling in the grass and a shuffling noise. Caesar’s head appears above the rim of the floor.
29
CAESAR
This was not the entrance I had wanted to make.
Vivienne stares at me in shock as I temporarily struggle to pull myself through the doorway. She clutches her beloved stuffed sheep to her chest. "What are you doing here?"
"I am risking my life to see you," I mutter out. I had hoped to make a more elegant, even romantic entrance. When I realized that she was most likely in the treehouse, my plan had been to run across the yard and bound up the rungs.
When I arrived at the foot of the tree, I discovered that the ladder had been pulled up. My eyes darted across the garden for anything to use as a makeshift ladder. But there was nothing to be found.
For a moment, I thought I could call out for her. But I doubted that she would answer me if I did. It was entirely up to me to figure out how to get up the tree.
"Wait," Vivienne asks. "How did you even get up here?"
I brush the dirt off of my pants. "The only way I could. I did something I hadn't done since I was eleven. I dug my fingers in, and I climbed."
The rangers of the Solvarian National Forest had taught me how to climb the grand oaks while camping one summer. It had been easier to find purchase in the nooks and crannies of the bark when my fingers were small and nimble.
I struggled to find deep enough grooves to hold on to, and my feet kept slipping underneath me. But I was driven by a stubborn determination to reach her.
"I dragged myself up inch by inch. Because I would have done anything to see you. To talk to you."
