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“If I told you the truth, you wouldn’t have let me go.”
“Not if I knew he was eight years older than you.”
She sighs. “Why does that even matter?”
This is tough. How the hell can I sit here talking about honesty and dating age-inappropriate people when I’m doing the exact same fucking thing? I feel like a hypocritical asshole.
But, I think it’s different. I know my feelings for Penny are real. We’ve had a connection for years that’s slowly grown based on friendship, trust, and love. I’m not interested in dating a young chick just to have fun and get laid, which I’m sure this Jeff asshole is doing. I don’t think he cares about my daughter at all.
Lily is beautiful and unique, but she hides her shyness and insecurities behind makeup and attitude. I’m not stupid. I’d bet money that little douche was drawn to her looks and easily saw through her, figuring out that all she wants is to be loved and wanted. That just saying the right things, and making the right promises, would probably have her wrapped around his finger.
“Most men going after younger girls don’t have the best intentions, Lil.”
“What if I don’t care about his intentions? He makes me happy.”
“You should care. Does he take you out to dinner? Has he met your friends and family? Have you met his?”
“We’re not getting married, Dad. We just hang out.”
“And do what? Drink? Get high? Have sex?”
Her cheeks turn bright red.
“That’s not a relationship. And it’s not a path you should be going down at eighteen years old. You’ll never expect better if you settle for this kind of bullshit now.”
“Maybe I don’t want better.”
“Then that’s sad. Because you deserve better. You deserve to be with a guy who loves you and treats you like a princess.”
She scoffs. “Why? To get my heart broken? Look what happened to you. And to Grandma and Grampa. Love doesn’t last. No thanks.”
I see her point. She’s been surrounded by relationship failures.
“Ya know what? I’m still grateful for every moment I spent with your mom. Loving her and being loved by her was that good. It was worth it. She taught me what love really is.”
“And that’s why you’ve been single ever since. Because you’re afraid of getting your heart shredded again. I’d rather avoid it altogether and at least just live my life, unlike you.”
“I wish you didn’t feel this way. I don’t want you to settle for jerks who are gonna treat you bad.”
“My grandparents didn’t want Mom to settle for you, but she did, and you didn’t treat her like shit. Why are you assuming Jeff is going to treat me bad just because he’s older? Don’t you think guys my age are idiots who sit around drinking, getting high, and trying to get laid, too?”
I can’t help but agree with that. “Some, but maybe not all of them.”
“So what do you expect me to do, become a nun?”
“No, I’d just rather see you focus on school and date someone who inspires you to be a better person, not someone who’s got you lying, sneaking around, and drinking. You’re so much better than that.”
She huffs out an aggravated breath. “Whatever. Can you just go? I’m done talking.”
“Will you promise me you won’t see him anymore?”
Pinning me with her dual-hued eyes, she says, “No. I have a right to do whatever I want and see whoever I want. If you don’t want me here, me and Penny will move out. We can probably get a cheap little studio in the mills downtown. I don’t care what you think about Jeff, I’m not giving him up just because years of guilt are trying to make you be a good father now. Forget it.”
Fear zaps through me like a lightning bolt. If she moves out, my chances of building a better relationship with her will dwindle even more. She’ll drift further and further away from me.
And she’ll take Penny with her.
I’ll lose both of them, and my heart will be broken once again in two completely different ways. I’m not ready for that.
“I’d rather you stay here where you have a nice, safe, free place to live and have a chance to get on your feet. I don’t want you struggling with bills every month. And I don’t want any more lies about where you are.”
“Then you’re going to have to just let me live my life.”
My jaw clenches. My daughter is using my fears to emotionally blackmail me, and I hate myself for being too weak to put my foot down.
She falls back against her pillows and picks up her phone—a sign she’s done with me and I’m being dismissed.
Chapter 33
ALEX
I close Lily’s door behind me and lean against it. I blow out a breath.
That talk went to hell.
But, I said what I had to say. With any luck, some of it will sink in when she’s done being mad at me. There’s nothing else I can do.
