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“Why is she even there? Don’t you think it’s fucked up? Penny’s not mentally unstable.”
“I really don’t know, Dad. She wouldn’t be there if she didn’t have to be. Her parents really pushed for it. Something about her having delusions and doing weird things since she was a little girl. Penny really doesn’t say much about it, and I don’t want to pry for details. I try to keep the conversations light.”
“I just don’t get it. I’ve known her since she was a little kid. She lived with us. She’s always been totally fine.”
“Well, she did have those few times when she freaked out for no reason and almost passed out. I guess it was serious.”
Those episodes were strange, but I’m having a hard time accepting that they’d warrant an extended stay in a mental health hospital that’s basically disguised as some kind of relaxing spa retreat.
Unless she told the doctors what she told me that night—that she thinks she’s Brianna.
Saying crazy things like that would be enough to get her locked up forever.
But my mind wanders…what if…what if she’s telling the truth? What if, by some twist of fate, there’s a possibility that what Penny feels is real? What if my grief-infested wishes and prayers really came true, and Bri’s soul was sent back in the form of a little redheaded girl who grew up to love me? If that were true, then she shouldn’t be in that hospital at all. She should be living the life she was gifted.
My chest tightens. Is it possible?
But every time I come close to believing, reality comes in like a tornado, whirling around me, pulling me off the ledge, away from the chasm of fantasies and dreams. Reincarnation isn’t real. It’s a plot for books and movies—nothing else. If it were real, people would be screaming about it from the rooftops. We’d be hearing about lost loved ones returning from the dead every day. It’d be all over social media. I’ve never heard of one instance of it. Not one. If Penny thinks she’s reincarnated, then she needs help to get a grasp on reality again so she can get the hell out of that place.
Lily eyes me from across the table. Thank God she can’t read my mind.
“I’ve always felt like there’s something kinda different about Penny,” she says.
“Different how?”
“It’s hard to explain. She seemed familiar in a way. The first time I met her, I felt like I’d seen her before in a dream.”
Penny has always seemed unique to me. Magical. A bit psychic. And yes, familiar.
Intrigued, I ask, “How exactly did you two meet? I don’t think you’ve ever told me.” I’ve always wondered if it was a wild coincidence that Lily and Penny became friends.
“She just randomly came up to me the first day of school. I was pretty rude to her, as per my usual, but she insisted on attaching herself to me. I was really surprised when we walked home together to find out you knew each other. It weirded me out at first.”
“Weirded you out how?”
“I suppose because I was jealous.”
I cock my head. “Jealous? Why?”
“Because you’re my father and I didn’t know you at all, but then here’s this girl my age who knew everything about you. She has all sorts of things in common with you. There was, like, this energy between you two, like that weird bond twins have. I wanted that closeness with you. But she was nice to me, so after a while, I didn’t care. I seriously have no idea why she wanted to be my friend. She was gorgeous and popular and I was a total outcast, all weird and antisocial. But regardless, she became my best friend and I love her to death.”
“You’re not an outcast, Lily. Everyone has different personalities.”
She smiles, showing off a row of perfect teeth, straight, like her mom’s. “I know that now. I was just so grateful for her friendship back then. School would’ve sucked without her. Penny made me feel special. That’s why I hate hearing her sound so despondent now. She always had a way about her, ya know?” A sad wistfulness glimmers in her eyes, and I’m struck by how beautiful she is. I can’t believe she’s part of me.
“Yeah,” I agree with a smile. “I know.”
What made Penny gravitate to Lily? Did she sense on some level she was my daughter? Or was it just a coincidence?
“No matter what, I’m not going to give up on her, Dad. I keep telling her that when she’s ready, she can come back here. She can even stay in my old room if she wants to since it’s empty now. That’s okay, right?”
My heart lifts on an elevator of hope. “Of course, if that’s what she wants.”
I wonder if Penny comes back, if there might still be the chance of an us, if I haven’t been emotionally detoxed into oblivion. I wonder if Lily could accept us as a couple. If we could all be a family.
