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The cigarette wafts smoke up into my face as I go back to the laptop and bang on the keys, typing signs of reincarnation and real stories of reincarnation into the search bar. I spend hours reading every article and watching every video. I scribble a list of common signs in my notebook.
Children talking about their death
Children looking for their homes and relatives
Children speaking in great detail about their past life
Nightmares
Birthmarks in places of trauma that caused death
My blood goes cold every time I read over that last line. Penny has that big, star-shaped birthmark on her temple. She’s always touching it and trying to cover it up. Nervous adrenaline accelerates my pulse as I pick up my phone and call Kelley.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey. Where you at?”
“Um….” He pauses, and I wonder what it’s like to have to think about where you are. “Vegas. We’re doing a show here tomorrow.”
“Wow. That’s wild.”
I can hear the smile in his voice. “Yeah, it’s pretty cool.”
“I got a question for you.”
“Alright. I’m listening.”
I rub my hand across my face. “When you saw Bri at the accident, did you see which side of her head was bleeding?”
“Jesus, Alex. I thought we agreed we were never gonna talk about this?”
We did. And we haven’t. “I know, but it’s important.”
“Why are you doing this to yourself again? You gotta let it go—”
“Kel, just answer me. I’m not sitting here fucked up. I just need to know which side of her head got hurt.”
He lets out a ragged sigh. “Lemme think for a minute. I just woke the fuck up.” I stare at the crayon drawing of Cherry while I wait for him. “It was her left. It was bad.”
I close my eyes against the pain for a long moment. I knew that was going to be the answer before he even uttered a word.
“You okay, Fox?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. Great, actually.”
“Good. I’ll call you in a few days.”
“Talk soon. And Kelley… thanks. For being there that day, and since then.”
“Sure, man. Always.”
I glance back at my computer screen and read over the last paragraph detailing theories about why reincarnation happens. One is that the soul returns to a new life to finish unfinished goals and lessons, to have a second chance to live out their personal dreams.
It makes sense.
Bri’s life was abruptly and tragically cut short. She didn’t have the chance to pursue her goals. She never got to see her baby grow up. She didn’t get the happily ever after that she was convinced we’d have together. Our love, and our family, was the most important thing in the world to her.
We had dreams. We made promises. Bri wasn’t the type to ever give up or break a promise. I know my girl, and I know she’d fight anything—even death—to come back to me and Lily.
She’d find a way to return.
Chapter 49
PENNY
The sound of his footsteps on the stairs pulls me from my book. I’ve been trying to read for hours, but my mind keeps veering off the page, wondering why Alex disappeared after our talk earlier and didn’t return. Me, Lily, and Brian ate dinner, packed a few more things, then watched a movie—and still, Alex didn’t come back into the house.
Every minute that ticked by hammered me with dread as I realized he must’ve changed his mind about wanting to figure things out with me. I can totally understand why. Whatever’s going on with me can’t be good. It kept me under a psychiatrist’s care and on medication for years. Of course me having a setback would scare him off. What man would want to commit to that, not knowing if I might have a mental breakdown and start channeling his dead wife at any moment?
Ever since earlier in Lily’s apartment, I’ve felt on edge, waiting for another strange, inexplainable emotion, thought, or vision to pop up out of nowhere. This must be what it feels like to slowly lose your mind. Not knowing what’s real. Having uninvited thoughts waltz through your mind at any given time.
I peer over the top of my book to see him standing in my doorway, just watching me.
“Alex?” An uncomfortable amount of time has passed with him standing there, so incredibly still and quiet. I put my book down as he steps inside and sits on the edge of my bed. “I wasn’t sure you were coming back.” I swallow nervously. “Not here, since this is your house. To me.”
“I was on the phone with your mother.”
My stomach plunges, dragging my heart with it as if they’re tethered. “Oh.” I blink at the tears wavering in my eyes. “I guess you guys decided I should go back to California, then?”
Shaking his head, he takes a deep breath. “Hell no. You’re not going anywhere.” My heart stirs at the love and the absolute sureness in his voice.
