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“Of course we do. That’s all we’ve ever wanted. Between you and me, I’m not exactly thrilled with moving temporarily, either. But I love your father and that’s what marriage is about—making sacrifices. It does feel unfair to drag you out there, though. You’re a straight A student, you’ve never been in any trouble, you’re so committed to your job, and I know how much Lily means to you. If my parents did this to me when I was your age, I’d be devastated.”
My breath catches with hope. “Are you saying I can stay?”
She puts her hand up. “Not yet. We’d have some conditions that are nonnegotiable.”
“I’ll do anything!” I say excitedly.
“You have to video chat with me every morning and every night. No exceptions.”
I nod rapidly. “Got it. Video chat twice a day.”
“You have to keep your grades up.”
“No problem.”
“Absolutely no drinking or smoking anything of any kind.”
I crinkle my nose. “Those things are gross.”
“No dating unless Mr. Fox meets them first and approves of them, and it can’t be on a school night. Your curfew is eleven p.m. Not a minute later.”
Some weird little part of me wonders if that was my mom’s rule or Alex’s.
“The last thing I’m interested in right now is dating, Mom. All the boys in my school are immature idiots.”
“That could change at any minute. Trust me. It just takes the right boy to turn your world upside down.”
I’ll never let some boy turn my world upside down. I’ve watched too many angsty teen shows to fall for that. “Any more conditions?”
“Yes. You have to help Mr. Fox around the house. He’s not your maid. You’ll have to save your money and not waste it on silly things. Dad and I will send you money to buy your own groceries and toiletries.”
“I have no problem with that. Me and Lily will cook for Alex. The guy lives on crackers and sandwiches.”
“If you break any of these rules, then that’s it—you’re coming straight to California. No second chances. Period.”
“I promise I won’t do anything to disappoint you.”
“We’ll have to talk about flying you out to see us for the holidays and what comes after graduation. You’re going to have a lot of decisions to make.”
“So, can I stay?”
Nodding slowly, she takes a deep, weary breath, then smiles. “Yes. You can stay.”
Squealing, I throw my arms around her and hug her. “Thank you so much, Mom. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
Misty-eyed, she touches my face. “If anything changes and you’re not happy here, then you have to tell me right away, okay? I’ll fly back here to get you immediately. Or if, God forbid, you get sick—you call me right away. You’re still my baby girl and this is really hard for me, but I want you to be happy.”
Emotion forms an ache in my throat. “I love you, Mom. I’ll be fine. Maybe it’ll be good for you and Dad to have some alone time. Have date nights, be spontaneous, swim naked at midnight. Stop working so much.”
Laughing, her cheeks redden. “Maybe you’re right. I’m not sure about the swimming naked part, but your dad and I could use some time to reconnect.”
When I go upstairs to call Lily, a twinge of guilt nags me. I should be feeling trepidation or sadness about being away from my parents and the home I’ve lived in since I was born. But I don’t. I only feel excitement and relief. As I reach for my phone, I yearn for a hint of wistfulness—to prove I’m a normal teen daughter and not as disconnected from my family as I’ve always felt.
That feeling doesn’t come.
Chapter 18
PENNY
It’s back. The knot in my chest, tightening with each passing day, fills me with a peculiar sense of dread. It happens every December, and I have no idea why. It’s my birthday month, and it’s also my favorite holiday season. I love all things Christmas—the music, the movies, the decor, the family closeness. And let’s not forget the magic of waking up to find everything covered in a pristine blanket of white.
Yet the feeling that something terrifying is just around the corner, waiting to jump out at me, remains.
This December, the cloud of dread is still hanging over me even though it’s been a month full of change. Me and Lily celebrated our eighteenth birthdays with Alex. My parents sang “Happy Birthday” to me over a video call, which was incredibly sweet and made me tear up. I’ll be flying to California to spend a week with them for Christmas, and Lily will be spending that same time with her aunt. Since we won’t be together on Christmas, Lily, Alex and I are celebrating a week early.
Alex has told us at least fifty times that he wrote off all holidays after his wife passed, but after some gentle coaxing, we convinced him to let Kelley drive him to town. Two hours later, they’re plopping a beautiful little spruce tree next to the living room fireplace.
