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My focus will slip, my career dreams will wither on the vine, and in seven years, when that legendary relationship itch starts to set in, I’ll be thirty-one and likely too old to pick up my career where I left off. Too much will have changed, and there will be younger, hungrier women willing to do entry-level gigs for half the money. The news reporting world will have passed me by, just like the ballet world passed my mother by.
And I can’t do that. I can’t subject my partner or any children I’m lucky enough to have someday to that.
Tears stinging into my eyes, I force myself to release Bear’s hand.
He sighs in response, the sadness in his expression so exactly mirroring my own that something deep inside shouts for me to wake up. To wake up and take a hard look at the path I’ve chosen.
Is this really what I want?
Is missing out on this chance with Bear really the right call?
“Let’s finish dinner,” he says gently. “And then I can go get your suitcase and bring it down to the lobby before you leave.” I open my lips to protest, but he cuts in, “I insist. I bought those things for you. I want you to have them. And when you wear them, I want you to remember how much one guy out there believes in you. You can do anything you set your mind to, Rose, and I can’t wait to see all your dreams come true.”
I press my napkin to the corners of my eyes, catching the tears before they can fall. I want to tell him how wonderful he is, how much I wish our timing had been different, and how much I believe in him, too. But I don’t trust my voice not to shake.
Luckily, the room downstairs is still loud enough to mask my soft sniffles as I pull myself together. It seems Gavin has disappeared into the large Christmas tree in the corner and neither the servers nor Mr. Florida have been able to coax him out again.
By the time we finish our meal, the entire first floor of the restaurant has been evacuated and the manager is escorting each group of diners to the exit, armed with a broom in case of any emergency baby alligator action.
“So sorry about this,” he says, discreetly wiping the sweat from his upper lip. “This isn’t the experience we hoped to provide our holiday guests.”
“It’s all right,” Bear assures him. “We understand.”
“And the food was incredible,” I add, refraining from mentioning how much better it tasted before Bear and I decided to go our separate ways.
After all, that’s not the manager’s fault. That’s down to bad luck and a misalignment of priorities that isn’t likely to be cleared up any time soon. By the time I’m ready for a man like Bear, he’ll probably be married with kids, and what could have been with him will be a path I’ll never be able to follow.
Even as a newly twenty-four-year-old, I know that choices have far-reaching consequences and that some opportunities, once passed over, never come again. It’s part of what makes this one life we get to lead so precious and wonderful and scary.
It’s scary to imagine never sharing another evening with Bear, never watching his clever eyes sparkle into mine across a dinner table, never hearing his deep, sexy voice rumbling in my ears.
Never feeling his lips against mine…
The last possibility is too much, too terrible to contemplate, and before I know it, I’ve pulled Bear behind the Christmas tree in the main part of the hotel—the one without a baby alligator in it—and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.
Instantly, he drops his crutches and pulls me close.
Our lips connect and my entire body catches fire and for one shining moment, this is all that matters.
This man, this stolen moment.
This incredible kiss…
Chapter Eight
Bear
This isn’t an “I’ve changed my mind” kiss.
This is a goodbye kiss.
I know that. I can feel it in the way Rose clings to me, kissing me like it’s the last time she’ll ever know what passion like this feels like. But still, I can’t stop the hope that rises inside of me.
Surely, she can feel how perfect this is, how right.
She belongs in my arms, and I belong in hers. This is what I’ve been waiting for. She’s it, the person the universe made for me, and the only woman I want to share my life with.
“Rose,” I murmur against her soft mouth.
She whimpers and tightens her grip on my shoulders, her tongue stroking against mine with a hunger I’m dying to satisfy. All I want to do is take her upstairs, make her come until she’s so relaxed and well-loved that she’ll finally see tonight the way I see it—like the chance of a lifetime, not a minefield best avoided.
