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Tomorrow, she might wake up with them firmly in place again, so he knew he had to prepare himself for that. But today, he’d push his advantage.
Raid glanced around the small apartment as he’d barely paid attention the other night. He’d been expecting neat and tidy. Something warm and inviting.
It looked to be basically three rooms. A combined lounge and kitchen with two doors off it, which he guessed led to her bathroom and bedroom.
There were clothes on the pale pink velvet sofa. Unopened mail across the kitchen island. A white fluffy rug on the floor that looked like it needed a good vacuum.
Okay, he’d been very worried before.
Now, he was really, really worried.
Why the hell hadn’t he done more earlier? He shouldn’t have let her turn him away.
“I, um . . . my place is a bit of a mess.” She stared around the room as though unsure how her apartment had gotten into such a state. “I, uh, um . . . I’ll just pick up a few things.”
As she turned away, she managed to trip over a pair of boots. Thankfully, this time, before she could hit the floor, Raid was there to grab her. He picked her up, holding her against his chest as she let out a shocked gasp.
“Fuck, baby, you feel so good in my arms, but you also feel way too light.”
“W-what?”
Crap. That probably wasn’t something he should say to her. But it had just popped out. And his concern increased. Was this why she’d fainted? Because she wasn’t eating enough?
“When was the last time you ate?” he demanded. He tried to ignore the way she was shaking.
Because if he thought about the reason for her fear, he might lose his legendary temper. And that wasn’t what she needed.
But he also didn’t want to let her go. Because he thought she needed to feel someone touch her. Someone who wasn’t intent on hurting her.
He sensed rather than saw her clam up. She was rebuilding those walls, but that wasn’t something that he could let her do.
“Did you have breakfast? Because when I make a sandwich, I make a sandwich.”
Confusion filled her face. But he was glad to see she no longer had that frosty expression that he was growing to hate.
“Am I supposed to know what that means?”
“You will, baby.”
“Um.” She chewed her lip. “Are you going to put me down?”
“Hmm. I like the way you feel in my arms, so I’m thinking no.”
She raised her eyebrows. “No? You don’t think that it might be a bit hard to make a sandwich while holding onto me?”
“I think I can manage. Plus, if you’re in my arms, I know you’re safe.”
She stiffened.
Fuck.
He didn’t like that. He liked it even less than when the frosty ice queen tried to make an appearance, all expression on her face disappearing.
Did that mean she didn’t believe she was safe? Or was it an indication that at some time she hadn’t been safe?
Yep.
He fucking hated that.
“Baby,” he whispered.
She shut her eyes and had a pained look on her face. “Please put me down.”
“No.” He made his voice firm. He didn’t want to frighten her. Didn’t want her to shatter on him.
But he also had to make a few things clear.
“I don’t want to put you down because I like the way you feel in my arms. I think I should have led with that. But sometimes, I don’t say the right thing. Some of my brothers know what to say and when. Some of them are blunt as hell. Well, perhaps just West. Me, I guess I’m a bit of both. So when I picked you up and said how light you were, it wasn’t because I was criticizing you. And it wasn’t because I don’t like the way you feel in my arms. I love the way you feel against me. I could carry you like this all day. Okay?”
She stared up at him, her mouth slightly open. “What is happening right now?”
“What’s happening is me telling you that you’re important to me. I like you. I want to get to know you better. And, baby, I’m worried about you. A lot.”
She bit her lip, looking scared and confused.
“Everyone is worried about you.”
“I don’t want people to worry about me. I don’t want to be a problem.”
He squeezed her while letting out a small growl. “What’s your middle name?”
“What?”
“Middle name, darlin’? What is yours?”
“Um, Megan.”
“Hannah Megan McLeod, you are not, nor could you ever be, a problem. Do you understand me?”
“Um, well, I—”
“And if you hadn’t fainted today, you’d be over my knee right now for even suggesting that.”
He felt her stiffen, but he needed to keep going.
“And I know that there’s probably supposed to be communication and an agreement and a safeword. But since I’m not spanking you right now, we’ll let that part slide until I am spanking you.”
