16. Josie
I released a frustrated growl as I threw my door shut behind me. Stupid Tyler and his stupid warm eyes and stupid soothing voice.
I ripped my fridge open and grabbed the wine. I needed a quick pour to steady my nerves. Because getting stuck in an elevator and Tyler being in my personal space like that? I wasn’t sure if I was trembling from panic or the way he whispered in my ear in that deep growl of his…Ho-ly goosebumps…
But wasn’t that how I felt about Garrett at first too?
Wait, no… Garrettnevermade me feel this level of butterflies. I never secretly wished to bump into Garrett all the time. And while dating Garrett, I had truly thought he cared about me, but the way Tyler was looking out for me the last few days was way more attention than Garretteverreally gave me. My skin didn’t tingle at Garrett’s touch like it did with Tyler’s. And Garrett could never settle my panic the way Tyler just did…
But if Garrett was able to cut my heart into a thousand pieces, what could a betrayal from Tyler do to me?
He could destroy me.
I tried to shake him out of my head.
My date– who wasnotTyler– was on his way. Jeff had a regular-person-job. He’d be tired at the same times as me. He’d have to go to bed early and wake up early for work just like I had to. He wouldn’t be going out to party in the middle of the week with his buddies. He wouldn’t be traveling to a bunch of different cities all the time to see side chicks.
Doctor Jeff was safe. Stable.
I needed to be with someone like Jeff.
________
I spoke too soon.
Just one hour later, I was thinking I needed to be with someonenotlike Jeff.
For someone so good looking and so smart, he really didn’t have an understanding of how conversation actually worked. Sitting across from him at dinner, I felt like I was interviewing him the whole time. I had to initiate every single question, and he never asked me the same question back. He just answered then smiled, almost as if he was internally saying,yes, nailed that one, next!
And when he did finally ask about me, it was in the worst possible way.
“I’d never be able to pay attention in your class.” He let out a light chuckle. “Do the boys just stare at you?”
I sucked on my top lip for a second, wishing that hadn’t just come out of his mouth. “Uh no, definitely not,” I retorted. “It’s not like that.” I loathed when guys sexualized my profession. It minimized the work we actually did in the classroom, and it was honestly downright gross.
“It’s true though,” he urged, shoving another bite of glorious ravioli in his mouth. Tyler was right about this restaurant.Damnit. No thinking about Tyler,I ordered myself.
I took a gulp of my wine before explaining, “No, I’m like their older sister or even mother sometimes. If only I had a dollar for every time a kid mistakenly called me ‘mom.’” I forced out a chuckle.
Completely unaware of my discomfort, he wagged his eyebrows as he said, “I don’t know. I’d be writing you sexy love notes, Ms. Petersen.”
Barf.I forced myself to control my face so I wouldn’t cause a scene. And I couldn’t help but think of the difference between him and Tyler. While Tyler called me “Miss Josie,” it was more of an endearing title. The way he said it, it wasn’t sexual at all, it was sweet, cute even. Nothing like the way Jeff just said “Ms. Petersen.”
I stared at Jeff’s neatly coiffed black hair. He was bent so far over his food he might as well have been licking his plate. He briefly glanced up. “Did you want to get dessert after this?”
Did I? Not really. But I also knew that if I went home after one hour, Tyler would probably gloat like crazy over the fact that he was right… I’d never admit it, but deep down, waywaydeep down, I would’ve preferred to be on a date with him. “Uh… sure,” I answered.
“Great.” He flashed what I now realized was his fake-charming smile. “Where would you like to go?”
Maybe it made me bratty, but I internally groaned. This date was starting to feel more like work to be honest. I didn’t want to have to take the lead– I typically did that day in and day out. When I was out, I wanted to just enjoy and follow, not have to research and direct where to go. This guy needed a take-charge kind of girl, and that just wasn’t me.
Now, I could’ve sucked it up and overlooked that specific dynamic. But the real nail in the coffin of this little date came when the check arrived.
I don’t care what anyone says, the check part of a first date is always awkward. As soon as our waiter came near, my mind fired off both sides of the debate at once– Like, should I pretend to reach for my wallet? Should I insist on paying my half? How were you supposed to play this? He was the one who asked me out, so technically, he should be the one to pay, right? But if he paid, did that mean I was obligated to kiss him at the end? I also didn’t want to offend him by acting like I deserved a free meal or anything. And I really didn’t mind paying my half either. So, I pulled out my wallet and reached for my card.
He shoved his hand up to stop me, but he didn’t say the usual, “Don’t worry about it”, or, “I got it.” Nope. Instead, he chose to say, “My treat. I doubt a place like this fits into a teacher’s budget,” with a sly smile.
My mouth literally fell open, but he didn’t even skip a beat.