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Her face cracked. “Clean up?” She swatted me. “Clean up, Tyler? That implies that I’m a mess.”
My eyebrows popped up. “No, but did you not almost bite my head off for wanting to pay for your drinks tonight because of something the last guy said? And let me be clear, I was about to make a huge fucking mess in that bar if that guy took one step closer to you, and that’s my favorite bar, Josie.”
She sighed and patted my cheek. “Thank you for that by the way.”
A protective surge coursed through me, and I pulled her into me. “I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you, you know that right?”
“Yeah, I do,” she said casually, and that loosened something in my chest.
“And I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings by turning you down the other night, it’s just, I’ve been that guy in the past. Good enough to hook up with, but not date. I mean, I know there were more factors than that, but that’s what it felt like, ya know?”
She chewed on her bottom lip, contemplating my words. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“It’s okay, the past has a way of running to catch up to us at the worst times.”
She snorted and poked a finger into my chest. “Maybe you, but not me, I’m speedy fast.”
I laughed. “I’m sure you are…” I stared into her eyes and loved that they weren’t so guarded with me anymore. “But some other douchebag from your past is still clearly messing with your head, and you won’t even give me a chance to fix it. He’s why you won’t date anyone who plays hockey. Why are you giving him that power over your life?”
21. Josie
Was I giving Garrett power?
It’s almost like Tyler heard the question I asked in my head, because he said, “You’re letting him stop you from being happy with me, Josie. Don’t give him that.”
My throat felt painfully tight and I’m not sure if it was his round honest eyes, or the alcohol that fueled my need to confide in him.
I think he could sense where my head was at, because he slung his arm over my waist, holding my back, and I felt so incredibly safe and close to him.
“Well, it sucks to be the girl being cheated on. It sucks worse when it gets millions of views. The whole world found out before I did, and it felt like everyone was laughing at me. Everyone thinks it’s a fun mystery to track down the cheater and the person getting cheated on, but no one thinks about how bad it hurts to read all those comments.” My face cracked and I turned away from him. He gathered my hair and stroked my back. My throat burned, but I knew I needed to get it all out in the open right now while I had the courage. I’d never shared all the dirty details with anyone before. “Multiple girls in different cities messaged me after the whole thing came out. He was cheating on me fortwo years. Two full years worth of me being the butt of the joke in a group chat with all his college buddies. And they knew me. I just don’t understand that. How did all of them just play along with it? Then I got an anonymous screenshot where he was literally saying he couldn’t break up with me because he needed to stay close to my dad so he could make it into the NHL.”
“I’m sorry, Josie.” He leaned over so he could see my face and he gently brushed a tear away with his thumb.
I kept my eyes on the wall in front of me because I didn’t want to see the pity in Tyler’s face. “How was I played for so long?” My voice cracked. “How do you trust someone after that?” I searched his eyes now. I hadn’t asked these questions aloud to anyone, but they were thoughts I wrestled with every day. Now I was laying it down at his feet, looking to him for guidance.
“He was a complete asshole. His name was Garrett, right?” he coaxed.
I felt my shoulders slump. I turned and laid on my stomach so he couldn’t see me anymore. I shouldn’t have expected him to have any answers. “Yeah.” I swiped my own tears away. I wasn’t crying over losing Garrett. I knew he was an asshole. I was crying over the hurt of it all.
“Garrett… Sanderson?” Tyler tested.
I let out a weird, jumbled noise.
He sighed. “Noted.”
I stayed silent.
“Don’t worry,” Tyler said, placing his heavy hand on my hip and giving it a squeeze, “I’ll take care of it, babe.”
That had me quickly rolling over to face him.
“Ah-ha, there you are.” He smiled, clearly trying to cheer me up.
“You will do no such thing,” I told him.
He put a hand through my hair, massaging my head. “I thought I told you your teacher-voice doesn’t work on me, babe?”
I rolled my teary eyes.
