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Noah is sitting outside on the front porch steps of his apartment building when I pull up. He’s looking pissed; his jaw clenched tight as he stares down at his old shoes.
“Noah,” I say as I park and climb out.
He glances up at me, and that’s when I notice the black eye.
“What the hell happened?” I ask, rushing over to his side.
Anger and concern fill me as I take in the red and purple circling his right eye. It looks fresh, and I whip my head around to see if anyone is nearby.
“Who hit you?” I growl.
“What do you care?” he spits at me.
I sigh, dropping the bags of Doritos by his feet as I take a seat next to him. Tensing and releasing my fists, I try to calm the fuck down enough to talk with Noah. Clearly, someone is going to have to answer for abusing this kid, but right now, I have to get him to be comfortable around me again. He needs a safe place, and I know I can provide that for him; if only he’d let me.
Please, please let him trust me;I pray to anyone who will listen.
“I came here to apologize to you and explain where I was the last few days. I’m so sorry I didn’t call or let you know. I lost track of time.”
“For days?” he asks sarcastically. I nod. I get it. It sounds like a lame excuse. At least he’s not running away or shutting me out like Lucy did.
“Yeah. I got a call on Tuesday from an old Navy buddy of mine. We went through boot camp together and were deployed a few times together. He’s supposed to be getting out soon, and he’s really the only friend or family I have left,” I start.
He shifts away from me, glaring out across the street.
“He was injured. He was in the hospital, and I caught the next available flight to see him. I was in such a rush I left my damn phone in my truck. I was worried, scared,” I admit, and he glances at me. “He sounded rough on the phone, and all I was thinking about was getting to him. I’ve had a lot of loss in my life, and I couldn’t stand the thought of one more person leaving me.”
He shifts again, this time not closer or further away from me, and hope starts to blossom. I know I hit on a sensitive topic when I said I was scared to be left behind.
“I got there pretty late Tuesday night and got to see my friend for a few minutes.”
“How was he?” Noah asks, turning every so slightly in my direction.
“Kind of out of it. He was on a lot of pain medicine. He lost his leg, from the knee down,” I tell him as he scoots a little closer. “I wasn’t even thinking about things back here. I left the hospital, found a hotel, and passed out for the night. I…”
Exhaling a deep breath, I rub the back of my neck before continuing.
“I don’t really like to talk about it,” I admit, “but seeing Romeo like that, well, it reminded me of all the people I’ve lost to war. All I could see when I closed my eyes were the bodies of the friends I left behind. Romeo was lucky that he just lost his leg, though I doubt he sees it that way right now.”
“I’m sorry,” Noah says quietly. I peer over at him and shake my head.
“No,I’msorry. I should have called and told you what happened. I should have bought a burner phone and looked up your number. I should have… well, I should have done anything except for what I did. I haven’t had to think about other people for…well, maybe I never have. The important thing is that I have people to look after and care for now, and I promise to do better.”
“I get it,” Noah says. I reach out, squeezing his shoulder.
“I really am sorry for not reaching out sooner. I was busy fighting the demons in my head, but I swear I’m going to make it up to you. I won’t be another adult who lets you down.”
He nods, seeming to relax with me more, and I’m grateful that he’s willing to forgive me.
“No one has ever come back,” Noah whispers. I have to strain to hear him.
“What?”
“The other Big Brothers. They leave and never come back. You came back,” he explains.
Jesus, this kid.
“I’ll always be here for you. No coming back since I won’t be leaving.” Noah finally gives me a hint of a smile. “Now, who am I fucking up for punching you in the eye?” I ask him, and he tries to fight back a bigger smile.
