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He tenses at that question, and I know I’ve hit a nerve. It’s no secret that a lot of the kids in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program have rough home lives. I thought coming from a similar background would help me be… I don’t know, insightful or something. So far, that’s not been the case.
“That’s none of your damn business,” Noah snaps.
“I thought we weren’t supposed to swear,” I point out.
He scowls at me and stomps away from the swings, while I wipe a hand down my face and try to figure out what to do next.
The rest of the time should be a blast.
I stand and follow him over to the monkey bars. Noah is standing there, leaning against the side of the structure, and I mirror his stance. He crosses his arms over his chest, glaring off into the distance, and I do the same.
“Family can be, uh, tough,” I say, sounding awkward and unsure of myself.
“Thanks for that observation,” Noah tosses back.
A few more moments of quiet tension pass as I scramble for a way to talk to this kid. Maybe if I offer something about myself, he’ll reciprocate. It can’t be worse than standing here in silence, right?
“I never knew my dad,” I blurt out.Jesus, what is wrong with me?
“Boo hoo,” Noah mutters, sarcasm dripping from his words.
Fair enough. This is a lot better than before I opened my mouth.
Maybe if I don’t say anything, I won’t mess this up again. That’s the plan anyway.
I look over at Noah, noticing the stiff way he’s holding himself. He may think he looks tough, and to other kids, he probably does. I can see his well-constructed defenses, though. If he’s a jerk and pushes everyone away as soon as he meets them, he doesn’t risk getting attached only to be abandoned later.
I get it. He has no idea how much I get it.
This session might be a bust, but I’m not giving up on him. I’ll just have to come up with a better plan before next Saturday when we meet again.
THREE
Lucy
“Thanks for takingme to the pottery place!” June says as we pull into the grocery store and park. “When can we pick up our pieces? I want to show my mom the mug I made for her!”
“You’re welcome,” I say with a grin, looking at her in the rearview mirror. She has a few spots of blue paint on her cheek, and I dig through my bag for the wet wipes before hopping out and opening the back door for her. “We can get our finished pieces next week. Here, you’ve got some leftovers on your face,” I tease, handing her the wipe. She rubs it all over her face, making me laugh. “And I have one more thing for you before we go inside.”
Her eyes light up, and my heart melts for her. “Did you go to the flea market across town like you said you would?” she asks, rocking on her heels.
Brown eyes peer up at me with excitement. They are so different from her mom’s bright blue eyes, and I wonder, not for the first time, who June’s father is. She must have inherited his dark eyes. How could someone look at this adorable kid and leave her? Another reminder of how heartless men can be.
I nod, then hold out my closed hand in front of June. She stares at it, her eyes growing wide when I open my hand to reveal the little keychain I found for a quarter.
“I love her!” June exclaims, pinching the keyring between her thumb and pointer finger, holding it up so she can examine the dangling devil.
“Her?”
“Yeah, girls can be devils, too, you know.”
“Of course, my apologies,” I tell her seriously, nodding my head.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she chants, wrapping her arms around my waist. I hug her back, soaking up all of her sweet cuddles.
“You’re welcome, June. I saw it and knew you had to have it.”
She nods, then threads the keyring through one of the belt loops on her shorts, grinning down at it while she walks with me inside.
