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"Stop getting your panties in a wad," I say to him. "I'll get you your meat."
"The good meat."
"Yeah, yeah," I reply. "Just wait at the gate for me. Be there soon."
I press "Play" on the mixed tape that's sitting in the Mustang's cassette player. I'm sort of a pop music junkie. Mostly '80s and '90s before stuff got weird and sad in the 2000s. A little Madonna, maybe some A-ha, definitely some Spice Girls. Fuck me, they were hot. Still are, really.
"One Week" by Barenaked Ladies starts playing, and I jam out on the drive back. Music helps me clear my mind, and I definitely need a fucking mind wipe after the morning I've had.
I know I'm going to need it even more after what Charlie and I are about to do.
"Yo," I say to him as I pull up to the gate.
"Salami," he says, holding out his hand.
I hold up a finger, indicating he needs to wait. Then I reach into the glove compartment and pretend to search for something. When he finally gets impatient, I pull my hand out and give him the middle finger.
"You little fucker," he laughs as he gets in the car. Charlie's a big dude, and his weight certainly tests the suspension.
I match his laughter as he closes the door.
"You feel how much the car is shaking? You don't need salami, Charlie. You need a treadmill."
"I'm big boned," he says, and we both laugh.
I pull out of the driveway and make my way back towards Raven's house.
"So, what the fuck am I about to walk into?" Charlie asks.
"It's a doozy," I say to him.
"It always is with you," he replies.
"This one actually isn't my fault," I say. "And it's not her fault, either."
"Her, who?" Charlie asks. "Her, the girl from this morning?"
"Yeah," I reply.
"She was looking for your brother."
"And it's a good thing she didn't find him."
"Where is she now?" Charlie asks.
"At a hotel outside the city," I reply.
"And why's that?"
"Because you and I are going to be doing a little clean-up job at her house."
"Awe, fuck me, Teddy, really?"
"Yes," I say. "And, please, don't offer that if you don't really mean it. You know how in love with you I already am. My heart," I put my hand to my chest and feign sadness. "Can't take it."
"You're a bleeding heart, that's for sure," Charlie replies.
"No better than you," I point out.
