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Gray pulled out his phone and started typing on his keyboard. Mom stared at him, her jaw slack. “You see? This is what I’m talking about. One hint of trouble and he hides and lets you take the blame. That’s what you want, Kent? This is who you want?”
Gray shoved his phone in his pocket and looked at me. His hands were shaking. “I told Mom that we need to have a talk. She and Daddy get back in two weeks. Once I tell them, we can …” He sighed, darting his eyes to the floor. “I just want to tell them first.”
“You don’t have to do this. If you’re not ready, it’s okay.”
“I’m thirty-eight years old. If I don’t do it now, I never will. I love you and I want this. I promise.”
REASON FOURTEEN
You’re all the family I need.
“Youdon’thavetobe here for this.”
We were sitting in Gray’s truck in front of his parent’s house, his hand in mine. Judging by the strength of his grip, I knew his words held no sincerity. Even if they had, I wouldn’t leave him alone. Not for this.
“You’re not in this alone. And if you’re not ready for this, if we get in there and the words won’t come, it’s okay. I can just be here as your friend. We go at your speed.”
“I’m not backing out of this. I promise.” He reached forward, hooking his arm around me and pulling me against him. “Daddy’s going to be so happy to see you. He talks about you all the time. When I told him you were coming, he said he couldn’t wait to get to you and give you a big bear hug. You saw his face on the phone. He lit up like the Fourth of July when he saw you.”
“Does he know? I mean, I can’t imagine how he wouldn’t, but he knows, right? About me.”
“That you’re gay?”
I nodded, shifting my eyes to the floorboard of his truck. I felt like a child again. Like the hefty teenager who was still hiding, tucked away in the darkest corner of his closet. My show of bravado was slipping, and I worried Gray would see it and think I was ashamed of us. I wanted to be strong for him.
Gray leaned in and kissed my cheek. “He knows.” His fingers brushed through my hair, his nails scratching against my scalp. “After you left, when he found out what your dad did, he was angrier than I’d ever seen him. Momma was …” He stopped himself, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “But Daddy didn’t say a word. He was grinding his teeth so hard I could hear it clear across the room. I thought he was mad at you, at first. Then he stood up and grabbed his keys. He looked back at me and told me to go getourboy before it was too late—before your bus left—and then he walked out the door. Came back two hours later and never spoke about that afternoon again. Your Dad had a shiner at the next service.”
I looked out the window, unable to make sense of anything he’d just said. “Wait, your dad beat my dad up?”
Gray blushed. “He did it for you if that makes it any better.”
I glanced out the window, making sure no one was watching from the house. When the coast was clear, I threw my leg over him and straddled his lap. Leaning forward, I took his bottom lip between my teeth and sucked. “Your father is officially my favorite member of the Collins crew now. Just so you know.”
“I don’t know how I feel about that.” He turned and stared out his window. Raking his fingers through his hair, he tapped that patch of hairless skin on the back of his head. He knew what he was doing—what that spot of stupidly perfect bald skin did to me. Apparently, I had a fetish for balding men, and the son of a bitch was using it to his advantage. I reached forward, just wanting to feel the silk-slick strip of flesh against my fingers. Without looking back, he slapped my hand away before I made contact.
I wanted him. God, I wanted him. “You’re a terrible tease. You know that, right?”
“Have to keep the spark alive somehow, Kent. Gosh.” He turned back toward me and took my hand. “It’s still us, right? If they don’t take it well, we’ll still be us?”
“It’ll always be us. I’m warning you, though, if either of them tries to give you shit about this, I don’t know if I’ll be able to bite my tongue. I’m not going to let them make you feel bad about us.” I squeezed harder, wanting to lighten the mood and make things easier for him. I flashed a devious grin. He shook his head, not sure of what was coming, but knowing that whatever it was, he would hate it. “I’ll have your back.Until we’re old and gray,babe.”
***
The house hadn’t changed one iota since my childhood. In the foyer, pictures covered the walls from floor to ceiling, leaving little to no empty space on the walls. Tchotchkes and bobbles lined every visible surface area, and there was a familiar scent of strawberries and cream that sweetened the air.
“Gray,” I whispered. He turned around with a look of concern about him. I shook my head and beamed at him. Swallowing air, I spun in a circle on my heel, soaking in memories of my youth. Pictures of Gray at church camp, holiday gatherings, and prayer meetings were spread across the walls like wallpaper. Almost every square inch was filled with his big, goofy grin. “This is surreal. Nothing’s changed.”
“That’s not exactly true,” Esther Collins said as she made her way down the stairs. “I have a new candle warmer in the kitchen.” She looked me up and down and gave me a peculiar smile that I couldn’t quite decipher. It wasn’t exactly warm, but it wasn’t hateful either. “Kent, honey, goodness.” Mrs. Collins held out her arms and made her way toward me. When she reached me, she pulled me in for a hug. It was strange, the embrace. Perhaps the twenty years I was away had muddled my memories, but her hugs used to feel a lot tighter than the one she was giving me. “I had no idea you were coming.” She turned toward Gray. “Is this the surprise?”
“I never said it was a surprise. Just that we needed to talk.”
Esther opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted as Marty made his way in from the kitchen.
“Think you can tear yourself away from Essie long enough to give me one of those world-famous Kent Fox hugs?”
“Marty.” I wasn’t particularly proud of the needy sound in my voice, but I was too busy sprinting across the room to give a damn. I lunged into his arms like an overexcited dog, greeting his owner after returning home from work. He let out a loud, overwhelming laugh that shook me right down to my soul.
“Missed you, kid,” he said into my ear. When Marty broke the hug, I wanted to protest, but the excitement in his voice stopped me dead in my tracks. “Let me get a good look at you, son.” He stared me up and down, grinning as he stared at the heap of curls on my head. “Turned out to be quite the looker. Was worried you might not grow into that big nose of yours.” He reached forward, thumping the tip. “Looks like I was right.”
