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Even if I could have protested, I wouldn’t have. There was no one left to impress; I had no reputation to uphold. In this world, the only thing that mattered was survival.
Garrick unbuttoned my coat with nimble fingers, his face inches from mine. I tried to speak, to thank him, but my teeth chattered too violently. The cold air was almost unbearable as he slid the coat off my arms. Thankfully, he worked quickly, shucking off his own coat before drawing me down to the chilly cave floor, positioning us on our sides and draping our coats over us like blankets. For a moment, my face was so close to his I almost lost myself to embarrassment, but I was too frigid to let the feeling consume me. As he enfolded me in an embrace, pulling me flush against him, I tucked my head beneath his chin to avoid looking in his eyes. Instead, I let myself relish in the comfort of feeling myself gradually thaw.
Garrick’s body was warm and solidly muscled; his grasp was firm yet gentle. With my ear resting against his chest, I listened to the steady rhythm of his heart while his breath brushed through my hair. It felt peaceful. Safe.
My stomach lurched in a way that wasn’t unpleasant. I’d never been this close to a man, and so I couldn’t deny the feeling caught me by surprise. Being in Garrick’s arms should have felt foreign, but it was comfortable, giving me a sense of belonging.
Slowly, warmth crept through my body, stilling my quaking muscles and filling me with a more soothing version of my earlier exhaustion. Eventually, I realized that it had gone quiet outside, leaving nothing but a haunting silence over the mountainside. But in our cave, our little refuge, I had the music of his heartbeat and his breathing to lull me into sleep.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Iwoke cradled in warmth, something solid and steady beneath my head and a soft breeze ruffling my hair. With a contented sigh, I stirred, relishing the comfort of the fur blankets cocooning me. That was when I noticed the heartbeat drumming beneath my ear. One of Garrick’s hands was tangled in the loose strands of my hair, while his other rested at my waist, fingers digging gently into the fabric of my shirt.
My eyes flew open, heat flooding my cheeks. Even when I carefully lifted my head from his chest, Garrick was close, his expression peaceful in sleep, his breath tickling my face. His arm was wrapped around my body, holding me near. The heat that emanated from him was a gentle contrast to the frosty air.
Back home, my reputation would have been ruined by such proximity with a man. I would have been the subject of constant gossip and scorn, shunned even more than I had been before. Charles would have demanded a wedding, though that still wouldn’t have stopped my neighbors’ tongues.
It seemed silly to consider now, when I was in the wilderness. Even without worry for my reputation, I still felt shy. I didn’t want Garrick to wake when we were this close, to see me studying him. To know I’d been starting to experience new emotions—ones that a woman didn’t feel toward a mere friend and that had no right to be growing in my heart.
Sitting up, I stifled a groan as the coats covering us fell and the unforgiving cold ran its fingers over me. Whether from my movement, the chill, or my noise, Garrick’s eyes flew open, his face instantly alert. He sat up, catching me about the waist and scanning the cavern.
“Are you all right?” he demanded, his fingers rigid where he held me.
“Yes,” I said hastily, feeling like a fool.
Garrick’s eyes flicked over my face, taking in my discomfort. His eyes widened and he wrenched his hands away from me as if he’d been burned. He stood and seized his coat. I staggered to my feet as he began buttoning the fur and gathering the bow and quiver he’d shucked off before curling up beside me last night.
I busied myself with shoving my arms into my own coat and buttoning it. I couldn’t shake the embarrassment consuming me, and I couldn’t meet Garrick’s eyes, not without feeling my cheeks burn.
Why did I want Garrick’s attentions to mean more than they did? I was grateful for his kindness and companionship. I knew I couldn’t expect him to give up his life in Silverfrost to stay with me in Ashwood, which meant eventually, we would have to part ways. Was it only because I was lonely? Or was it him? His charm, his humor, his wit. His dimpled smiles and protective nature and good heart. The way he listened when I spoke, the way he saw who I was and wanted to know me.
I’d never experienced anything like it, and, as short as our time together had been, I didn’t want to lose whatever we were building. Thinking about saying goodbye made my heart feel hollow.
Garrick’s voice pierced my reverie. “Stay here while I scout outside. I won’t be long.”
A sobering thought struck me as memories of last night’s avalanche returned. “Do you think any soldiers survived?” Iasked quietly. It was surreal to think I might be responsible for killing four fae.
Garrick shrugged. “Perhaps, or someone or something new could be nearby. Or there could be snow and shifting rocks.” He studied me, considering. “Your magic is dangerous right now when it’s difficult to control. But do you think if anyone threatens you, you could try to use the knife I’ve given you?”
It was unsettling enough that I might have taken lives unintentionally with my magic. Imagining using a blade to deliberately take a life was vastly more so. “I-I think so.”
“Good.” Garrick’s eyes were hard, his voice gruff. “Ifanyonetries to harm you, don’t hesitate to stop them.” He strode out the cavern mouth, leaving my mind whirling. I crept as close to the edge of the cave as I dared, glimpsing the morning light shimmering peacefully on the mountainside. Gilded trunks stretched toward a cloudless, pure blue sky. Snow draped the trees’ bare branches. The scent of pine was rich in the air, sweet and fresh, almost calming the whirlwind of emotions within me.
Almost.
