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“So fucking original,” I muttered, tightening my arm around her anyway. “You do have a nice ass, though.”
Another little laugh bubbled out of her. “They could be talking to you.”
“Ha! I doubt that.”
Their footsteps grew louder behind us, as did the obnoxiously loud conversation about how horny and/or hungry they were. The euphemisms blurred together in their drunkenness. I’m pretty sure neither Sveta nor I wanted to stick around while they figured it out.
“The driver is on their way,” she whispered, stealing a glance over her shoulder.
“No, don’t—” I groaned. “Look…”
“Hey, baby! Where you going with this loser?” one of them shouted.
“We just want to talk to you,” another one pleaded.
Each step they gained on us kicked my heart rate up another notch. Four of them. One of me. Not odds I’d ever want to take. Plus they were drunk, which meant they’d either go down easily or they wouldn’t feel a goddamn thing.
Suddenly Sveta was gone, ripped from my arm with a shriek.
“I said I wanted to talk,” the guy growled at her, yanking her against his chest.
“Let her go, man. I promise you, this is not how you want to end your night,” I said, advancing on them until two of his friends stepped up, blocking my path.
“Run along now,” Thing One said.
“Yeah, beat it, bartender,” echoed Thing Two.
“You better get the fuck out of my face,” I shot back, tightening my grip on my helmet and glancing between them, waiting for an opening.
“Brock, come on,” the fourth one—thesmartone, holding the food—said from the back of the group. “Let’s just go.”
Brock, the ringleader who had his paws all over Sveta, laughed, ignoring the sage advice. “Ooo. We’re real scared.”
“Yeah, what are you going to do about it?” Thing Two jeered.
Emboldened by his friend’s stupid bravado, Thing One swung for my face. I threw my arm up to block the punch and decked him with my helmet, cracking the visor. He went down hard and fast.
Out of nowhere, pain flared in the side of my face, radiating through the rest of my skull.
Stumbling back from Thing Two’s punch, I inadvertently dropped the helmet to cover my cheek. I didn’t have time to regain my bearings before he crashed into me, driving me into the side of the building so hard my head bounced off of the bricks.
I slapped both palms against his ears as hard as I fucking could. He cried out and backed away but not fast enough. Grabbing the front of his shirt, I swung him wide and slammed him into the wall. While he was still disoriented, I punched all those squishy parts that weren’t shielded by bone, aiming most of them at his diaphragm and his kidneys. I didn’t stop until someone yanked on my sleeve.
Turning with my fist poised to strike, I was startled to see it was Sveta, her brown eyes wide as screaming echoed around us.
“Come on!” she yelled, pulling my arm again.
Brock was on his knees, howling and rubbing his eyes as snot poured out of his nose. The best part? His face was bright fucking blue.
Laughing, I let her drag me away. We ran down the sidewalk and dove into the backseat of the Uber, breathless.
“That’s fucking awesome,” I said, letting my head drop against the headrest, still laughing.
“Being attacked?” She stared at me like I was insane.
“Well, no. That sucked. I was talking about the part where it looks like a Smurf jizzed all over his face.”
“Jizz?”
