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Her mother laughed at her dry tone. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing. I mean it didn’t come off the way I wanted it to. He’s a great guy.”
“That’s not a bad thing,” her mother said. “Talk to me more. Something is bothering you.”
“I can’t put my finger on it. I like him a lot. Maybe it’s just that everything is moving so fast and I’m looking for something to be wrong.”
“I was just going to suggest that to you,” her mother said. “The question is why you are looking for something.”
“This is so stupid and I hate even voicing it. I mean it sounds ridiculous to me.”
“It’s not if it’s something you feel,” her mother said. “Tell me.”
“In the past few years I’ve seen more negative than positive. Cal is just this positive guy and I’m waiting for it to be too good to be true.”
“It’s not ridiculous,” her mother said. “But you are looking at it wrong. He’s had some tragic things happen in his life. Maybe he is the way he is to overcome that?”
“I don’t know. I think you’re right. From what I’ve heard of him and his parents, they were pretty good-natured to begin with. I think what happened to him would have broken me.”
“No,” her mother said. “It wouldn’t have. You’re stronger than that. I’m concerned about you.”
“Don’t be,” she said, sighing. “This is your social worker background coming out.”
Her mother sighed. “Mia. You’ve always been headstrong. I know being the baby you felt you had to prove yourself more to everyone else. I’m trying to find out where the daughter I had that wanted to fight for so many people has gone.”
“I think she’s just gotten worn down. I thought for sure moving here I’d be revived.”
“I thought you were,” her mother said.
“I was.”
“Please don’t tell me that stupid traffic court case got you down,” her mother said.
She was laughing. “It did that day, but I’m fine now. I’m used to not winning or fighting hard to get a little win at my last job.”
“Then I don’t see the problem here,” her mother said. “You love working for Brian and you love the area. It sounds as if you’ve got a great boyfriend that we can’t wait to meet.”
“I don’t know what my problem is either other than I think I’m just waiting for it to crash down on me.”
“There you go again, looking for the negative,” her mother said. “Mia. That isn’t like you.”
“I know,” she whined.
“There has to be a reason for it. Are you falling in love with Cal?”
She let out a big sigh. “I think I am. I think that is the problem. I’m scared. Do I open myself up to this guy and then if it doesn’t work out, that is one more hit in my life?”
“Why not look at this as the glass half full thing? You’re in a new place. Have a new job. A great guy. If things don’t work out, then you learn from them. It’s early yet and you know it.”
“You’re right. I honestly think my biggest problem is I look at Cal and think, holy shit, after everything he’s had happen in his life and he’s gone through, look at how happy he is.”
“That’s right,” her mother said. “Look at how happy he is. You’ve always been the one to look for the good and I understand you got burned out. But get back to being that person. Let Cal help you get there.”
Why the hell hadn’t she thought of it that way?
Now she felt like an idiot.
“I needed to hear that, Mom. Thank you.”
