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It was the look in his eyes and the fact he reached for her hand and gave her a kiss that told her he was telling the truth.
Not that she thought he’d lie either, but her mind had been all over the place today.
She came here to get that to stop and tell him.
“That’s good to know. Can we talk?”
“Oh boy,” he said. “You came here to talk to me? Maybe I shouldn’t have told Bethani what I had. She could be spreading the news and then the next time I see her I might have to let her set me up with her friend.”
He gave a mock shiver and she playfully slapped his arm. “Stop it. It’s not bad. I just was talking to my mother and realized some things and told myself that I wanted you to know. I’m not really that spontaneous.”
Which shocked her that she did what she had. Normally she thought everything to death. As she’d been doing for weeks.
“Let’s go in the back,” he said.
She noticed he had a tablet in his hand. “Are you sure I’m not interrupting you?”
“You can interrupt me anytime you want. In this case though, I’m just doing one more walk through before I place orders. You know, the holiday rush and all.”
She followed him to the back and then to a small office. It wasn’t pretty and more functional, but she reminded herself he had an office space he worked out of and this was a shared one. That he had a manager for the store and he only came in to look things over or help out.
“I know you’re busy today, but I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” he asked. He was frowning and looking concerned.
“That I’ve been acting like an idiot. Or not myself. That is more like it. Talking to my mother I realized how negative I’ve been about so many things. That I burned out and moved here and though I hated that, I made the decision to start over. I did the best I could at my last job and I wasn’t doing what I could for my clients.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that. That you knew you did what you could and sometimes it takes a bigger person to admit it’s time for a change. Making changes is hard for anyone.”
“It is,” she said. “But my mother reminded me I’ve always been this fighter. That I had to fight being the baby because I wanted everyone to see I was as good as Caden and Morgan.”
“That’s the good thing about being an only child,” he said. “But I’m sure your siblings didn’t see it as you do.”
She loved he was grinning at her. “You’ve got a point. And I told my mother that there have been so many knocks in my life lately that I’m looking for more where I never did that before. I’ve got all these great things happening to me and here I am looking for the shoe to drop.”
“It’s human nature.”
“See,” she said, pointing at him. “That, right there. You’ve had all these tragic things in your life and yet you are still a positive person or trying to make me feel better about myself. You’re too good to be true.”
He snorted. “Hardly that. I’m everything you say or said. Some of it is my nature, the other, well, I’ve been at that rock bottom you’ve talked about. Been there emotionally. Nothing is that bad. I can control these things, I couldn’t control that.”
“My mother said I should let you help me get back to the person I used to be. That’s why I grabbed my purse and ran out the door. You are helping me and I didn’t even realize it and here I am still looking for something to go wrong. I wanted you to know that I see that now. I recognize it. I’m going to stop.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
“I’m not,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m being realistic and aware. The past month or so, that isn’t the person I am. I don’t know how I let myself get in this hole, but no more. It’s over.” She grabbed his face and gave him a big smacking kiss on the lips. “You hear me, it’s over.”
He threw his head back and laughed. “You know, a lesser man might pale when their girlfriend said it was over.”
She yanked him closer and hugged him. “We aren’t,” she said. “And I think that was some of why I was acting the way I was. What I feel for you is stronger than anyone else I’ve been with and it’s a shorter period of time. I’m looking for something to go wrong rather than appreciating everything that is going right.”
17
OUTLOOK ON LIFE
Cal was holding Mia and running his hand over her head.
When he’d seen her come into the store, he was thrilled.
