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Her mind was doing it because she realized weeks ago she was in love with Cal Perkins and that was why she was so terrified of things failing.
19
NOT GOING TO BREAK
“Can we talk for a minute?” Cal asked her.
“Sure,” she said. “Everything okay?”
He’d overheard her talking with her family about Christmas.
Not just decorating but where they were going to celebrate. Who was doing what. Gifts to buy for her parents.
Things that were normal but stuff he stayed away from.
He hated that she kept looking over at him and then changing the subject.
“Don’t feel as if you can’t talk about Christmas around me.”
“What?” she asked.
He laughed. “Just because I don’t like Christmas and it was a bad time in my life. Or around my life doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it.”
“I know,” she said.
“You say that, but I can see it. Think of it as chocolate again. Do you not eat chocolate around someone who doesn’t like it? Or don’t you even think about it?”
“Good point,” she said. “But someone who doesn’t like chocolate isn’t the same as what you went through.”
“It was a long time ago.”
“It brings up bad memories in your life,” she said.
“Everyone has bad memories in their life,” he argued. “That doesn’t mean I expect the world to stop around me. My businesses all decorate for the holidays.”
He wanted no part of it, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t have others do it. He wasn’t rude by any means, but he left it in their hands and no one even asked him anymore.
It was no different than any other holiday they prepared for.
He even sucked up the Christmas music that would be played in the liquor stores starting tomorrow. He got through because he basically put earbuds in and played something else if he was on the floor or pretended something else was playing.
“I know,” she said.
“I want you to say you believe me. I’m not going to break over something silly like that.”
“Maybe you need to,” she said.
He frowned. “Mia. It’s been years. Let it go. I’m fine. I really am. Don’t change what you want to do because of my dislike of something. I mean it. I’m sure there are things out there you don’t like. You know, like sardines. Doesn’t mean I’m going to stop eating them.”
He watched when she did an involuntary gag. “They are gross.”
“Nope, they aren’t. And I’m still going to bring them home and eat them around you. See my point?”
“I suppose,” she said, putting her arms around his neck. “How about we go try to work off some of this food and drink we consumed today?”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said. “Really, I am.”
