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“One of hurt that you’re trying to cover up. Please don’t take it that way. I can’t have something else on my shoulders right now.”
She felt about an inch tall when she heard that. “I’m sorry. I’m glad you called and let me know. But I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t be. I’m angry more than anything else.”
“You don’t show it,” she said.
“What good would it do?” he asked. “What would it change?”
“Sometimes we can’t let it all build up inside of us either,” she said.
“It works for some and not others. I need to go,” he said. “I’ve got a call coming in. I’ll talk to you tonight.”
“Bye,” she said, hanging up the phone.
She looked up when Brian was standing there. Their offices were close. “I overheard. What’s going on?”
She filled her boss in. It was a professional matter at this point.
“He said he’s angry and when I called him out on not showing it, he said that it wouldn’t do any good. He actually believes it wouldn’t change anything.”
“It wouldn’t change the outcome, Mia,” Brian said. “But there is something else you should know. You didn’t hear it from me.”
She felt her heart sink. “What?”
“Jack Perkins had been put on administrative leave six months after Lynn’s death. It was a short period of time and not talked about often. They kept it under wraps, but I knew. Cal told me.”
“What happened?”
“Jack was drinking. A lot. To kill the pain maybe. The guilt he felt that he wasn’t with Lynn that day. So many things and no one knows other than Jack. Everyone knew he was drinking, but it was during his off time.”
“Until it wasn’t?” she asked.
“Yes. He went in hungover a few times but not drunk. But one day, he got called in and he’d been drinking. Because he was called in and not technically on shift, it was easy for them to send him home. They drove his ass back home and then made him sober up and take a good look at what was going on around him.”
“He stopped drinking after that, didn’t he?” she asked.
“For the most part. He’d have the occasional beer but nothing like he’d been doing. He didn’t want Cal to see how low he’d fallen.”
“There is something about the Perkins boys that want to make others proud, isn’t there?”
“Yes,” he said. “I know Cal has said it before. That what he does is so that his parents would be proud of him. The businesses he owns, you know why.”
“He told me,” she said and felt her eyes well up with tears.
“His father let his anger build inside of him. He was losing control and if someone over Jack didn’t step in and force him to take that week off and look at his life, who knows what could have happened.”
“I get it now,” she said. “I’m always trying to control everything and you just can’t. What happened to Lynn and Jack was beyond their control.”
“Yes. Cal knows that deep down. I don’t think it’s the holidays that he hates. It’s just the reminder of the time of year.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “Maybe with Jack but not Lynn. Think about it. She was out buying him a Christmas gift.”
“That’s right,” Brian said. “It could have easily been a birthday gift and then he’d hate his birthday. It’s a reminder of the time of year more than anything else.”
“I suppose you’re right. One week left and then it’s behind him.”
At least she was telling herself that, but the truth was, she didn’t think that would ever be the case.
