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“Not quite. I picked up sauce and meatballs at the restaurant, but I’m going to cook the pasta myself. Kind of fresh. I mean it’s better than a jar at the store and frozen meatballs.”
“Yes, it is,” she said. “What is the occasion?”
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“Oh boy. What did you do?”
He grinned at her. She was laughing. “Talked to Brian. We had lunch today.”
Her smile dropped. “He told you I asked about some things in your life?”
He didn’t want her to feel bad about that.
“Not until after I asked him how you were doing.”
“Why would you do that?” she asked.
“Because maybe I’m insecure about messing up things with you and am too much of a wimp to actually ask you myself?”
“Really?” she asked.
“Brian told me to talk to you and tell you some things. I wanted to do that.”
“Did he tell you what he told me?” she asked.
“After some arm twisting. Don’t be mad at him. It was more that he hated being put in the middle. Said that it was like high school again.”
“I guess you’ve got a point. I’m sorry I did that.”
“Don’t be. We did the same thing. I just want you to know that I’m not good at telling my feelings to people.”
“So I gathered.”
“And you are,” he said. “I know it was hard for you to open up to me about your feelings of failure. But you see, my father felt that way for not being with my mother. And it caused him to drink.”
She nodded her head. “But he stopped.”
“He did when he had no choice.”
“He had a choice, Cal. You know that.”
“I do,” he said. The water was boiling, so he dumped the pasta in and turned to her. “And I want to do him proud.”
“Which is why everything you do in your life is for them. I know that. I called you out on it early on.”
“You did. I’ve been pretty open about those things in my life. Most just shrug and find it sentimental.”
“Because they don’t understand you as well as I do,” she said.
“No,” he said.
It reminded him about all the women he’d dated. “In the past, if I opened up, most brushed it off. Or they thought I was joking or it was just a sweet thing to do. A lot of women didn’t want to talk about it.”
“And it made you self-conscious to even bring it up to anyone?”
“Yes. I mean, let’s be honest. How many people have you told you feel like a failure?”
“No men,” she said. “Very few women. Just family.”
