AllFreeNovel
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“It’s December, but Christmas is still a week away.” I don’t add that all the magic was gone the first time I woke up alone in my half of the duplex on Christmas morning. I didn’t realize that our divorce hadn’t quite felt real until I had to figure out how to live without him. We still share a wall and a close friendship, but this way there’s enough separation for me to let go of the idea we can fulfill each other’s relationship needs.
My folks had all kinds of traditions growing up. And Saint and I made our own traditions while we were together. We kept them up over his years of law school, when we were living together. But we let most of them fall by the wayside since moving back to our hometown. I just couldn’t handle facing our traditions alone.
We’re still neighbors, but each of us has our own townhouse. Two condos in a duplex. We wanted to stay close. Saint has been my best friend forever and our divorce didn’t change that.
I firmly believe we work better as friends than lovers, but there are times when I miss what we tried to build together. A special person to curl up next to and share the anticipation of a big event. Someone to romance and who wants to woo me in return.
Truthfully, I’m dreading all the family-centric holiday gatherings that are bound to remind me just how alone I am. Sure, I’ve got Saint, but I want… not more, but different. Someone who is happy to cuddle in my bed without it going further. Someone who can kiss me under the mistletoe without expecting it to lead to more.
I long to meet someone who smiles at me the way Nick smiled, and it felt like time slowed and everything else was in soft focus. I shake off the absurd thought. Nick was just trying to make a sale. He wasn’t into me.
Even if a guy who drops everything to come help his ailing mother with her craft business is exactly my type. That last might be a stretch, considering Nick hasn’t been home in years. It took Tina needing major surgery for him to return home for the holidays, but he’s here when it counts, right?
While I’m daydreaming, the line moves and Saint nudges me out of my thoughts to order.
“Same as him,” I say. The menu is too long to panic-read it while I hold up the long line of holiday shoppers.
Saint scoffs. “No, he’ll have the salted caramel dark chocolate with extra whip,” he corrects my order. And that does sound better than white chocolate peppermint. The person behind the counter gives me a questioning look, and I nod.
“Yeah, what he said, salted caramel dark chocolate, please.” I pay for us both and we step aside to wait for our orders.
“Hmm, distracted, huh?” Saint jostles me with his elbow.
“Mhm.”
Saint grins. “That wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain craft merchant, would it?”
“Nope. Not at all. Just dreading going to Eliza’s party.”
“Why? Your sister’s party is pretty much the highlight of the season. You used to love it.”
“Yeah. Except I’ll be the only single sibling again this year. And since Gail is pregnant, I won’t even get a reprieve where the rest of the family speculates over when she and Marcus are going to start producing grandchildren. I mean, I adore my family, but they are nosy.”
“And the baby won’t be enough to keep their attention?”
I shrug. “Sure, but they like to meddle.”
“So, find a date to bring.”
“Why do you think I’ve been trying the apps again? But it’s getting a bit short notice to spring a ‘meet the family’ holiday party on a new love interest.”
“You could try to find someone who needs a similar holiday boyfriend to throw off the nosy family. Swap fake holidates?” Saint suggests. I roll my eyes.
“Because the only thing better than lying to and disappointing one family is doing the same to two families?” I snipe.
The worst part would be that I’d want so desperately for it not to be a lie that the night would be torture. Twice the torture. And desperately wanting more from something that isn’t good for me has never turned out well. Our marriage being the case-in-point for that.
Saint bumps our shoulders and flashes me a conspiratorial grin. “Worst case, we could pretend to get back together.”
I’m struck speechless at all the many ways in which that’s a terrible idea. Before I can say so, our orders are ready. Saint winks at me as he collects both cups. He passes mine to me.
“We aren’t doing that.”
“Okay.” Saint shrugs laconically, sipping his cocoa and moaning into the steam.
“I don’t need a fake date. Are you trying to make my life into a Hallmark movie or something?”
“Of course not, babe.”
