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He nips at my ear before pulling back. When his eyes meet mine, I know he doesn’t regret speaking his mind.
“I’m exhausted. I need to work out more to keep up with you.” My face feels flushed.
“Nah, more fitness will make you lose the jiggle on your ass.” He laughs as my eyes roll. “By all means, down some milkshakes and add to those curves.” Warmth filters through me, knowing he finds some of my insecurities such a turn on. Just another reason why this man is incredible.
“I don’t think you’ll see results within my timeframe here.” I watch his heart sink, but he swallows it. “I can say with confidence that this is worth another trip to town in the future.” Wordless, he climbs off the bed. Remorse shines through my eyes and guilt enters my gut at seeing how I’ve hurt him.
Like the gentleman he is, he holds out his hand to help me up. “You can use the bathroom first.” I nod and head out of the room. Ian uses the bathroom after me and as I walk back in, I notice the duvet has been taken off and another blanket is in its place. Exhaustion takes over, and I surprise myself as I crawl into his comfy bed. If he expects me to scurry after mentioning my timeframe here, I can at least give him this. But what if this is too much forhimnow? A nervous smile meets his happy one as he pauses in the doorway.
“I get to taste you, fuck you,andhold you in my arms?” Walking to the bed, he slips in beside me. His arms wrap around my waist as he presses a soft kiss to my head, and I take a deep breath, settling into his arms. “I’m the luckiest guy.”
But you deserve so much more from a woman.
Chapter16
Emery
There’snothing fake about us, Emery.
I tap my phone screen for the umpteenth time this morning and shut off the guided meditation I attempted to try at home. Ian hasn’t reached out after last night, so maybe that was it for us. Maybe I ruined it. My aunt knows something is up. She took one look at me this morning with raised eyebrows as I ventured down for a tea without a word. I’ve been holed up in my room all morning, engulfed in the smell of Ian…and swimming in his large hoodie. It’s pathetic I left in the middle of the night. But things felt too right. He did, indeed, show me a whole galaxy, then laid beside me and held me in his arms. It was perfect, and I couldn’t wait for him to fall asleep before I escaped. Jeez, maybe I am more fucked up than I thought.
Saying he blew my mind last night is more than an understatement. Goosebumps form on my flesh at the thought of his lips pressed on my neck and between my legs. The way he knew my body nearly had me in tears, which shouldn’t be a surprise since he always knows what I need. Before I was established with my career, we would have worked. We would have been monumental. Even after five years, the attraction, our connection, the words I don’t have to say out loud because he knows what I’m feeling… It’s only taken a couple of weeks for me to bounce back to letting him help carry the weight of the past. I can’t do that to him. I won’t. He deserves better. Someone without all the emotional baggage and suppressed trauma.
I know I’m the problem.
My heart jumps as my phone buzzes. Reluctance fills me, scared to look and see if it's Ian. Curiosity claims the best of me as I reach for it.
“Hey, Savannie.” My voice cracks as I nervously fiddle with the hoodie string.
“You sound spent.” Her voice fills with wonder. “How did the hospital party go? Did you and Ian enjoy the evening?”
“It was fine. A lot of familiar faces.” I’m not sure how much I want to share. “What’s up?”
“I was wondering if you want to join Hallie and I on the Vegas trip for my dance student?”
A getaway to clear my head after last night is much needed. “Yes, you can definitely count me in.” I won’t have to risk facing Ian right away. “When are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Hallie is tagging along at the last minute?” She is usually so organized and scheduled.
“This was a last-minute thought to ask you girls because Hallie said she’s not working this weekend.”
I smile. “I’ll call Hallie and work out flight details.”
“Great! I’m at the studio all day today, but I will be by your place tomorrow morning.” We hang up, and I feel a bit lighter. I’m able to switch back to the meditation video and finish it out before having an extra long shower, since my body feels like I had an intense workout. I shut off the water and hear my phone go off again and again.
So now he decides to spam me with messages and a phone call. I don’t have the guts to open my messages yet. Getting dressed, I toss the sweatshirt in his laundry basket and head downstairs.
“You got inverylate, missy.” Aunt Quinn smiles, pouring coffee to go.
“We had sex.” I toss my hands in the air and let them fall to my sides, defeated. “Yeah, it was incredible, and I actuallytriedto stay. But I ran and don’t want to talk about it.” A half smile appears. I can’t believe I just said all that to my aunt.
“You attempted to stay. That’s still something, Emery.” She places her hand on my shoulder with a soft squeeze.
“More for his sake, because I know how much last night meant to him.”
“And you, if you tried to stay the night in his arms.” Her phone dings, and I think I’m saved by it. “You feeling scared actually means you feel something for him.” I hate that she’s right.
