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Chapter 5- Sadie
She’s alive.
Mom was stabbed in the abdomen, upper left thigh, and through her hand and sustained a head injury. It’s a miracle she survived with the amount of blood she lost.
I’ve been anxious to see Mom and had to wait for the nurses to give me the green light.
I didn’t know what to expect when I entered the room. Mom’s skin is pale, body still, and tubes through her nose and mouth, attached to a pump helping her breathe.
There hasn’t been any movement or response to stimuli. I’m unsure if she knows of her surroundings or can hear my voice.
I wheel myself closer to her bed, reaching for her hand. Abuela sits on the opposite side of me, holding her other hand.
“Mom, I hope you can hear me. I’m so sorry for what happened to you. I wish I had been here to protect you.” A tear trickles down my cheek.
“Dad’s dead, mom. Josiah killed him,” I whisper while sniffling, trying not to break apart.
I haven’t seen or spoken to Josiah since he left me in the hospital bed, alone, without saying goodbye. The pain in my chest feels like a bomb ready to detonate. If anything were to happen to him, I wouldn’t be able to survive it.
“I have faith your mother will get through this. She is strong.” Abuela’s voice startles me after the long silence.
I don’t know if she will. The doctor said there hadn’t been any changes or improvements. The hope of her waking up is dwindling by the minute.
Abuela continues speaking in Spanish.
“I knew he was hurting her. The first time she came to me, the skin around her eyes was bruised, and her lip was swollen. She blamed herself for setting him off. No matter how often I begged her to leave him, she stayed, putting you and Josiah’s lives in danger.”
Abuela wipes the tears from her face as she runs her fingers through mom’s hair.
“I’ll never forgive myself.” Abuela takes in a short breath before continuing. “I hate myself for not doing more for her.” She covers her mouth, preventing a sob from breaking.
“Abuelita, it’s not your fault. She knew what she was getting into and refused to believe she deserved better.” I look back at Mom and realize she remained strong through the abuse.
I knew mom didn’t want that life for herself or her children. Sometimes people who live in a domestic household feel they have no choice but to stay in the relationship, not believing there is hope at the end of the road.
“Is it wrong to be sad Dad is gone?” I ask Abuela holding onto Mom’s hand hoping she can sense me.
“No, mija. He was your father, and for a short time, he was kind and good to all of you. But once he started drinking, his gambling addiction worsened, and whenever he lost money, he would take it out on all of you.”
We stay silent for the rest of the visit. Once Abuela leaves, I return to my room and crawl into bed. A few hours later, Tia stops by with Sophia.
“How’s Donnie?” I asked Tia while giving my daughter her bottle.
“He misses your ugly ass.” She laughs, and I start laughing too.
I miss him.
I miss his touch.
His kisses.
But I am afraid to let him back in.
If anything were to happen to him, I would never forgive myself.
He saved me, and it’s now my turn to save him.
Chapter 6- Donovan
