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“I wonder where the hell he’s been at?” Tia asks, with a hint of anger in her tone. “He should fucking be here with you and Sophia.”
I know she’s talking about Josiah.
“I don’t know,” I respond truthfully.
I know what Tia means, but Josiah has his own demons to deal with. Taking Dad’s life… I can only imagine how his brain is trying to register all that has happened.
The doorbell begins to ring annoyingly like whoever out there isn’t letting their finger off the ringer.
“What the fuck?” Tia asks while she sits up.
“¿Quién diablos está tocando la campana así? Solo un minuto maldito sea,” Abuela cries out in annoyance.
Tia and I roll on our knees to stand up. As we both walk out the bedroom and down the hall, Abuela screeches when Josiah storms past her to the kitchen.
“Josiah!” I yell, running after him while Tia stands in the doorway.
“Jo!” I call his name again. This time, his head snaps in my direction.
Jo stops and starts to pace back and forth, wringing his cap in his hands. He looks like he hasn’t slept, eaten, or showered in weeks. It’s not that warm out and all he has on is a long sleeve red and white shirt, black jeans, and white sneakers that are covered in mud.
This isn’t the Jo I know.
Jo always keeps his shoes in pristine condition. He cleans them every night after wearing them and sets them out like a display.
“Josiah, please look at me.” Keeping my voice low, I slowly walk toward him, keeping a safe distance.
“Tia, please take Abuela to Sophie’s room and lock the door,” I say in a gentle tone, keeping my eyes on Jo.
Tia breathes out in frustration but does what I say. After I hear the door close behind them, my mind is now one hundred percent focused on avoiding spooking my brother, who looks like he’s two minutes away from losing his shit.
Jo smacks his head several times, mumbling something incoherent. I stand behind the table that separates us and watch his every move. One wrong word or action will set him off and I need to be prepared for when that happens.
“Jo. Can you look at me?” I ask calmly.
Jo stops pacing but keeps his back to me, facing the back door. I can tell how tense he is by the rise of his shoulders. From his heavy breathing, it seems as if he's having a difficult time trying to maintain his composure.
“Jo. It’s going to be ok. You’re safe here,” I continue.
Jo doesn’t move. Doesn’t say a word.
I run my hands through my hair with shaky hands, knowing I’m going to have to survive another fight and make sure we both get out of it alive.
“How about we get you some clean clothes and I’ll make you something to eat. You must be hungry, right?”
“Stop,” he warns in a whisper.
“Ok, just tell—”
“I said stop!” He whips around to face me with anger and hate burning in his eyes. “Can’t you just listen for once in your goddamn life?!” His face turns bright red when he yells.
My heart beats hard against my chest.
I swallow and blink.
“Nothing to say now, huh? Little miss perfect. You know…” Jo continues to wring his cap with his hands.
“You’re always the one who needed to be saved fromhim. Well, guess what, sis?” He laughs bitterly, shaking his head. “You’ll never have to worry about him again because I fucking killed him. Shot him like a fucking animal and feltnothing.As long as you’re safe, the fuck with everyone else, right? Who gives a shit that Mom almost died and you didn’t?”He spits the harsh words out with venom.
