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She let out a mocking laugh and retorted, "He didn't exactly have a choice. He claims he never once reached out to me because he didn’t know about me. But I call bullshit. Even when he found out he had another daughter, he never fought for me to stay because he already had you and Seth.” Skylar walks toward me until she was in my face. “Mav is all I have. Get it out of your head that you could ever be anything more to him. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you take him away from me.” She pointed to her chest for emphasis. “I’m not a freak like you. Do you think anyone will want to be with you when you have a lot of crazy going on in here?” She tapped my temple with her finger to make her point. “No wonder you only have one friend.” Skylar shook her head, muttering the wordpathetic, and walked out the door.
The tears finally slid down my face.
I quickly wiped them away when I heard Seth’s door open. When his footsteps sounded closer, I turned away and ran to the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
“Hey, Skittles. You coming down for the movie, or what?”
I didn’t respond but cried silently into my hands.
“Scar?” Seth gently knocked on the door. “Are you okay?”
I sniffled and took a deep breath to calm my nerves. “Yeah, but I’m not feeling so good.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m going to get ready for bed.”
“But it’s only seven.”
Please walk away, Seth. I’m trying not to break apart.
He sighed. “Okay, sis. I’ll check in after.”
I waited until I heard my door close, and that was when I broke down.
SEVEN
THE PAST
SCAR, AGE 14
"How long has she been like this?"
Maverick.
He was here.
"About an hour." Mom sniffled, responding to Seth through the speakerphone. "I don't know how to get her out of it." I hated it when I made Mom cry.
You're not good enough.
Just die already.
You’re so pathetic.
No one loves you.
Do you know what it feels like to have your mind replaced by another that makes you feel worthless? Or how it deprives you of feeling anything other than happiness? This mind made me believe that I was worthless, called me names, and forced dark thoughts into my mind like an overdose. Sometimes, I thought it would be easier if I were no longer on this earth. That would eliminate the burden on my family.
"I'm sorry," I cried in a whisper.
"Hey, sis." Seth kept his tone deceptively even. "I'm on my way, okay?"
I nodded even though he couldn’t see me.
Healwaysknew.
"What happened, Skittles? Whose ass do I need to kick?"
