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Tears welled in my eyes, and I immediately shut that shit down. I didn’t deserve to cry, nor did I have time to. I had to get the fuck out of here before anyone saw me. I continued my cautious pace, taking my first step into the dense forest, the darkness pressing in like an old friend.
Using my new shifter prowess, I enhanced my senses as Callan had taught me, my eyes sharpening enough that I could make my way through the dark. My other senses came alive, the damp scent of the forest permeating my nose, while my ears twitched at every snap of the leaves underneath my feet. If I had a way to carry my stuff, my bunny form would have been much more efficient, but I had to work with what I could.
I progressed through the forest, making quick work of my path, the cabin far behind me now, just a small shape in the receding distance as I advanced. With my normal eyes, I wouldn’t have been able to make out anything in the darkness. Ahead of me, I began to make out the edge of the magical wards thanks to my Faerie magic, having put at least a mile between me and my cabin.
As I approached the barrier, the shimmer of magic glowed beneath the moonlight, an all-encompassing protection that extended far above my head. I paused, taking a deep breath as I prepared to step across the barrier, testing my theory once and for all. If a big siren sounded, then I would bolt.
My nerves faded out with my exhale and I stepped forward, ready to embark on the next chapter, until a loud snap sounded behind me and I whirled, pivoting to see Callan standing behind me.How had I let him sneak up on me so easily?His eyes bored into mine, rage stiffening his jaw as he glared at me.
He waspissed.
“Go back to your cabin.Now.” Callan’s voice was sharp, like little needles pricking my skin with the weight of my betrayal. His accent made its appearance, deepening with emotion. “This is reckless, don’t you see that? You’re putting yourself and the pack in danger.”
I struggled to maintain my composure. “The pack is already in danger, Callan! He’s too powerful. He’s tracking me, you know he is. If I leave, he’ll follow me, and then the rest of the pack will be safe. No one else has to get hurt.”
Callan closed the distance between us, his hand gripping my arm firmly. I should have backed away, should have shaken his hold, but I was entranced, and I hated myself for it. I never wanted to let someone have this kind of pull over me, and yet here I was. Melting into a puddle for a man who already had a mate. My entire body was a ball of heat, with the spot his hand touched blazing the brightest. “As much as you constantly try to do the opposite, I won’t let you get yourself killed.”
My resolve wavered as I met his eyes, that same connection that always burned between us ever-present. Part of me wanted to go along with it, let him drag me back to my cabin, where I felt safe and protected. But then I thought of Evie, of Kai and Elowen. All the teens Lexi had slaughtered for the spell that freed the Queen. The spell I had cast.
I couldn’t let even more people die for me. Because of me.
The moonlight bathed us in its silvery glow, casting long shadows that seemed to dance around us. I looked up at the moon, a stark reminder of the connection we had shared during the Mating Moon, before turning back to him. Our faces were mere inches apart, his grip on my arm holding firm.
“How can you place so much regard on my life, but not on yours?” I lashed out at him, my anger and resentment in his choices brimming to the surface. “If this fight happens, you’ll kill Lexi, and then you’ll die. Or better yet, you’ll change your mind and decide you really do love her.” It slipped out before I meant it to, my immaturity rearing its ugly head. I didn’t want that to be the case. I should have been worried about his life, not his heart. It would be a lie to say that I was only running for the good of the pack. Mate bonds were strong, and I wanted to be a little selfish. I saw the way Elowen had wasted away after Kai died. That kind of pain and despair was real, I believed in it now. Mate bonds were real. And Callan had one, with Lexi. I was scared shitless of both outcomes. Either Callan loved somebody else, or he died. I didn’t see an in-between. Only heartbreak for me, either way. I was already too far gone to protect myself anymore.
I’d fallen for Callan without even realizing it.
“You are so goddamn frustrating,” he snapped. His hands slid to my waist as he forced me a few steps back, until my back thudded against a thick forest tree. Before I could speak, he crushed his lips to mine, catching me completely off guard. His kiss was dominant, unrelenting, as our tongues tangled together, entwining in a fierce battle of wills. Even while kissing we were at odds with each other, warring for who was the most stubborn. Who would be right. It was always like that with us. He pressed into me, my body burning under his touch as he blazed a trail with his fingertips. When I thought I might have forgotten how to breathe, he pulled away, giving me only a small amount of space.
Callan’s gaze bored into mine as he tilted my chin up to look at him, speaking slowly so I couldn’t miss a single word. “I. Do. Not. Love. Lexi. And I know now that I never really did. I can’t explain it, because I know that’s not the way it’s supposed to work, but it’s true. I don’t love her, and I never will.”
He dipped his head down, his teeth firmly nipping my swollen lips, which he then covered with a soft kiss. Pain mixed with pleasure and I almost moaned, but managed to hold it in, just barely. His words registered in my head, my heart still pounding in my ears.
“I’m tired of fighting this,” he told me softly as his kisses moved to feather my jawline, coming to a rest near my ear. His hot breath sent goosebumps rippling over my skin, and my hands came up to fist in his shirt. I wasn’t sure if I was trying to push him away or pull him closer, but he made the decision for me.
“Ever since I first saw you, you’ve been a thorn in my side.” He worked the sensitive spot on the side of my neck, and by the time he’d circled back to my ear, I was a quivering mess. I should have pushed him away, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to.
He drew back, his smoldering eyes leaving me breathless. “So headstrong, challenging me at every turn. Sometimes talking to you made me want to punch a wall. And yet, I couldn’t get you out of my head. I still can’t. I built up every wall, and somehow you still managed to barge your way in. Stubborn little idiot.” He kissed me again, somehow even more intense than the first, his hot mouth devouring mine as I threw myself into it. His hands slid from my waist, gently caressing my curves until they ended buried in my hair, and this time I moaned, my body pushing forward with need.
When we finally came up for air, he rested his forehead against mine, his body never moving away from mine. “What have you done to me, Rowan?”
“You have a mate.” My voice finally decided to work, blurting out the first thing I could think of, and my biggest protest to taking anything further with Callan. I wanted him, more than I’d ever wanted anyone before, but I was also hyper-aware that in this situation, I was the most vulnerable.
“I don’t love her.” He kissed me again, and I felt my resistance waver, hovering on the edge of a choice that I could never take back. He’d told me his feelings, exactly what I wanted to hear. But I couldn’t lose myself in this, not yet.
“You might die tomorrow. Everyone might die tomorrow. I should go.”
“I don’t care.” His hands fell back to my waist, inching their way under the hem of my shirt, electricity sparking across my skin as his strong hands gripped me.
“I have a mate out there somewhere too.” He flinched but didn’t release his hold on me as my words cut him. I wasn’t trying to hurt him, but that was the reality of our situation. He had a mate, and I would too, one day.
“I know,” he said finally, as he lifted his head, a vulnerability that I’d never seen shining through. My breath hitched as I glimpsed more into his soul than I ever had before, an unspoken conversation flowing between us as we stared at each other. He knew this would end in him getting hurt, and he didn’t care.
“I’ve tried so hard to resist this. You’re in my dreams, you’re in my thoughts. Your fucking smell—I smell you the second I walk into a room. You’re fucking irresistible. It took everything I had not to pin you to the ground and fuck the shit out of you during training. And don’t even get me started on that night during the Mating Moon.”
“I’m scared you’re going to die,” I whispered, my feelings bubbling to the surface as my voice cracked. He was echoing everything I’d been feeling for weeks, but what was the point if he was going to kill Lexi in the morning?
He removed his hands to cup my face, and even if I wanted to look away, I couldn’t. “I can handle myself. I’m not dying anytime soon.”
