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Charon said I underestimate my powers, but he was wrong. So wrong.
It felt like betrayal. Noctus, Charon, and the others had always treated my abilities with respect, but in the end I couldn’t even protect them.
What’s even so great about shadows? Our ability to assassinate others? I can’t even protect what’s important to me! I’m so scared, my friends are about to die, and I can’t do a thing! What right do I have to eventhinkI could be Noctus’s queen?
Something small hit the side of my head, making me scream in surprise.
It took me a second to recognize a charred, stale French fry had bounced off my head, and fallen on the ground. “French Fry?” I gulped, wildly searching for him.
The trash griffin collided with my head.
I caught him before he fell to the ground. “No, no, no. If Noctus is right, you’ll die, too. French Fry, you need to get out of here! Fly—fly far!”
French Fry affectionately nibbled my finger, then launched himself from my arms.
He nearly fell to the ground before his wings caught enough momentum and he soared over me, heading for the Curia Cloisters.
“French Fry!” I screamed, my voice raw.
I was going to lose my friends, and Noctus—who I was inlovewith. I couldn’t lose French Fry, too. But I was powerless to stop him.
I’m always powerless, and always running. Why am I always running?
I knew the answer in my bones: because I was afraid.
I’d spent my life being afraid. And while this past year I’d been frightened into fighting back, it was still my gut instinct, my shadow-genetics, torun.
I was a coward.
I’d trained, learned to jump off buildings, taken on two fae monarchs, and I was still a coward. I’d pompously said I could be Noctus’s queen, when the reality was I didn’t deserve the title.
I was going to be afraid for the rest of my life.
But couldn’t I be brave…despite my fear?
I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, the thought echoing in my mind.
Just because I’m afraid doesn’t mean I have to act on that fear. Just because I’m afraid, doesn’t mean I have to run.
I looked back over my shoulder.
My fears and instincts are trying to keep me safe, but I can listen to them and choose to fight anyway, even if it means I might get hurt. Always running away—being the only one to survive—would wreck me so much more.
But could I help, when I couldn’t even really wield magic?
I had the flickering, pins-and-needles-sensation of the gate to Noctus’s royal weapons.
I can help. I just have to be bolder than I’ve ever been in my entire life.
I turned back the way I came, my movements so rapid I nearly tripped on my own feet.
My heart twisted with fear, and I knew every step I took went against what my friends had asked of me.
But I was going to try to destroy that weapon. I wasn’t going to stand by anymore.
French Fry cooed encouragement as he circled overhead, keeping up with my sprint.
We reached the shrubbery that marked the edge of the Curia Cloisters a lot faster than it had taken me to flee.
