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“Yeah,” is all I manage to say as I turn away from her and step under the spray of the shower. When I feel her arms wrap around me from the back, I drop my chin to my chest and allow myself to feel everything—all the pain, hurt, anger and regret. Tears burn the back of my eyes. I place my palms flat against the wall and allow the first tear to fall. Fuck the pain in my chest burns at the loss of my brother. I know he fucked up and made some shitty life calls but he didn’t deserve to die. “They killed him because of me,” I say brokenly. She slips around the front of me and cups my face between her hands. I know she can see the tears falling from my eyes but she doesn’t comment.
“Your brother knew what he was getting into when he entered this life. Just like I knew the risk I was taking the night I found out who you were. We all make choices, Kacey.”
“He chose wrong,” I grit out.
“Some would argue I did as well, but here you stand before me.” Dropping my hands to her waist, I push her back until she is flush against the wall.
“Do you regret it?” She nibbles her bottom lip and tries to escape me, but I grip her chin between my thumb and forefinger, forcing her defiant gaze back to me. “Do you regret it?” I ask again.
Her eyes flick between mine, trying to get a read on me, but I’m too fucked up right now for her to even get a read on what I’m feeling.
“Do I regret meeting you? No.” I sigh in relief. “Do I regret falling in love with a lie? Yes.” I drop my hold on her and step back.
“I never meant to hurt you, Sin.”
Her eyes narrow. “If that were true, you would never have pursued me, you would have left me the fuck alone, Kacey.” She throws her hands in the air as I shut the water off. “I only found out days ago your name wasn’t even Connor. You fucked my life up.”
“I’m trying to fix my mistake!” I argue.
“How? You think coming back into my life after two years to force me to rat on my family is the way to earn my forgiveness?” She doesn’t give me a chance to answer. “You signed my death warrant! You forced me to choose between those I love and someone IthoughtI loved.” She brushes past me as she steps out of the shower and begins to dry off, while I stand here and just watch.
“What do you meanthought?” I growl as I follow after her and crowd her space.
“What?” she snaps angrily.
“You said youthoughtyou loved me.”
“Exactly. I thought I did but clearly I was wrong.” Reaching out I grip the back of her neck and drag her into me as I bend and get right in her face. “I could break your fucking nose right now,” she snarls.
“Bullshit.” She opens her mouth to argue but I push on. “You can lie to yourself all you want, baby, but you and I both know you are full of shit. You loved–love me because if you didn’t, you would have opened those legs for someone else. I’m betting my life on the fact my cock is the only one that has ever been inside you, and I am the only man who has ever seen you come.”
Her nostrils flare as her anger begins to take hold. She fucking jabs me in the ribs, then lands an open palm hit to my fucking nose, again. “Fuck.”
“Fuck you. You don’t know shit about me or how I feel. Just like how you are so fucking dumb to think that you could kidnap me. My cousin was kidnapped, you dumbass, and since then Royal has had trackers implanted in all of us. He and my father are already on their way to get me, so I suggest you get dressed unless you want my dad cutting your sorry ass excuse of a cock off.” I balk at her as she storms out.
“You fucking love my cock, you dirty little liar!” I shout.
“And I’m sure your brother loved breathing, but here we are.” Ouch, that fucking hurt more than I want to admit.
* * *
Chanel and I are both sitting in the living room. It’s in the center of the downstairs part of the remodeled house. From here we can see the entire downstairs, which is exactly where I want her, no, I need her for this plan to work. I fucked up with Marcus and my family and that shit fucking sucks, but I won’t do the same with her. I need to fix this and this is the only way I know how.
Sure enough, as if on cue, the front and backdoor are both kicked in at the same time and then men in black ops attire crowd the room. Chanel is on her feet while I remain seated and wait for him. She flicks her gaze to me and frowns. The crease in her forehead tells me she knows I’m up to something, but doesn’t call me on it when her father pushes through the circle of henchmen to come to his daughter's side.
“You good?” She nods her head in answer to her father’s question.
“You didn’t need to do all of this, I was fine,” she says as she waves her hand around at the men surrounding us.
“He didn’t, but I did.” She spins around and watches as two men step aside to allow their Don through. Royal Murdoch stands tall and proud as he looks at his cousin. A second later, one of the twins follows after him—that one I know is Havoc because Chaos is the one who moved my family to a safe house.
“Royal,” she breathes out.
“What the fuck is going on, Sin?” It pisses me off to hear him calling herSin. That’s my name for the devious devil. She flicks her gaze to me for a second before looking back to her cousin and sighing.
I watch as herfuck the worldmask slips into place and she stands taller and holds her head high. “I fucked up and I’m owning it.” Royal’s brows furrow.
“You never fuck up,” Havoc says.
