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She felt the ball of heavy emotions soften inside her heart at his declaration. He was a proud man, she could see how difficult this would’ve been for him.
“I never wanted to hurt you. All I can give you now is my undying promise that I will do better. I won’t ever keep a secret from you again. Surely what we have together is worth taking another chance. On me. On us.” His voice was a deep growl, rough with the strength of his emotion. His eyes locked onto hers in silent communication. A silent plea. He reached up and cupped her cheek with his palm. After a second, she leaned into his touch. Let herself fall. Let herself really feel him. Maybe she’d got it wrong. Maybe he had learnt how to express his feelings. Maybe Marietta was an aberration. Him holding onto details from the past because he knew how much it’d distress her to reveal them. Maybe this was more about his wish not to hurt her. Rather than him being a coward and not expressing himself.
“It’s hard for me to describe how you affect me. I feel you under my skin,” he said hoarsely. “And I taste you on my tongue. I think about you every waking minute of my life. You accompany every breath I take.”
She nodded against his cupped hand, tears forming unbidden in the corner of her eyes.
Wow. Just… Wow. Nico had never been so forthcoming with his feelings for her. Never bared his heart in quite such depth. She tilted her head toward his, until they were resting forehead to forehead, their gazes locked on each other.
“It’s the same for me,” she agreed. What they had together was real. Raw and real. And she’d be stupid to throw it all away now. Her throat ached with the sweetness of it all. Nico was one in a million. Not like any other man she’d met. He was her night and her day.
“I’m so sorry, Lace. Do you forgive me?” His question was a whisper of breath between them. Lacey forgot that they were kneeling on a rug on the top of a hill with the blue sky stretched overhead, where anyone could see them. All she knew was her and Nico, cloaked in their own little world.
Did she forgive him?
Yes. Because the alternative was unthinkable.
“Yes.” She nodded against his forehead.
“Oh, thank God,” he moaned, the sound like a wounded animal getting to its feet, surviving against all odds. “I love you so much, Lacey Carmichael. I couldn’t… I don’t…” He didn’t need to finish his sentiment this time; she understood every unsaid word.
His lips trailed over her jaw, then lingered at the edge of her mouth. Then he kissed her so deeply, so sensuously, she thought her bones might just dissolve right there. Her heart flooded with so much love she thought it might burst. This was the right thing to do. The only thing. Nico would still have to continue to build her trust in him, but for now she was so happy to just let that emotion go. Kick that wordbetrayalout of her heart and mind. She could see now he hadn’t really betrayed her, he was only trying to save her pain, and it was her own issues that’d blown it all out of proportion. He also hadn’t wanted to risk bringing all those feelings of self-loathing up again after Marietta’s abominable treatment, which was understandable.
“If I keep kissing you, I’m not going to be able to stop.” His breathing was ragged, his chest hitching as he pulled away far enough to look into her eyes.
She knew what he meant. A public hilltop was not the place to reignite their passion. They needed their bedroom. And fast. Nico bundled everything back into the backpack without regard to which way up it went, whistled up Smudge, then they bolted down the hillside as fast as they could, holding hands all the way down.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
NICO SMILED UP at the ceiling. Makeup sex was the best. No, scratch that. This particular Sunday afternoon makeup sex after he’d thought he’d nearly lost Lacey was more thanthe best. It’d been mind-blowing. Life-affirming. He felt so light and happy, he could possibly be levitating a few feet off the bed, and the only thing keeping him anchored to this world was her.
Lacey mumbled something incoherent and snuggled deeper in to his shoulder, asleep in their warm afterglow. He let her sleep, but he was too buoyant to close his eyes. He was happy just to lie there all afternoon and soak in this feeling of elation. Everything else could wait. Work could wait. Finding the person who murdered two women could wait. This moment needed to be savored.
Things were back on track between them. He wasn’t stupid enough to think that he still didn’t have some work to do, some ground to make up. But he was determined to keep his end of the bargain, and he’d show her day by day, hour by hour, that she could trust him implicitly. It was a huge responsibility; to bear the load of someone else’s trust. It was one of the reasons he’d been so afraid of commitment.
The other reason had been his fear of baring his own soul. To allow his happiness to rest in someone else’s hands. After Marietta had clawed his heart to pieces and shattered his self-confidence, he’d been wary of ever letting anyone else in again. She’d scarred him for life. Or so he thought. Until he’d met Lacey and she’d turned everything he thought he knew about himself upside down.
He remembered back to the second they’d stumbled through the back door and he’d dropped the backpack on the floor, reaching for Lacey before they even had the door fully closed. He’d needed to tell her without words how much he cherished her. He was better with actions than words. And while words had won her heart earlier, his body was going to seal the promise they’d made. They’d both toed off their walking shoes and then he’d pressed his lips to hers, pushing her up against the kitchen table. She’d responded with equal urgency, her tongue sliding over his, stroking and tugging. She’d smelled like sunshine and a salty breeze, her amber eyes wide and dilated with desire.
Her hands slipped beneath his tee, caressing his back but he wanted—no, needed—skin on skin. Breaking their kiss, he’d grabbed the hem of her T-shirt and she obligingly lifted her arms so he could slide it off in one easy motion, revealing her cotton sports bra. That had to go too, and he’d quickly unsnapped it with one hand, while the other tugged the tie from her ponytail to let her blonde hair cascade over her bare shoulders. He drank in the sight of her, resting her hands against the table, naked to the waist, letting him look his fill of her beautiful breasts.
Not able to keep his hands off her, he’d cupped one breast and then leaned in to taste the other with his mouth. She’d gasped and leaned back onto the table, her fingers tangling in his hair, urging him on. His hand drifted down her belly, fingers undoing the button of her shorts and then slipping inside, down to the core of her. Lacey tipped her head back and groaned as he’d touched her, the sound hitting him right in the middle of the chest. A pulse beat erratically in her neck, and he’d leaned in and tasted her skin, savoring the feel of her blood pumping beneath his lips, as his fingers explored between her legs.
“You. Clothes off,” she’d demanded through ragged breaths, and he’d done as she commanded, stripping himself naked in a few seconds.
He’d barely had her shorts and panties down over her ankles before he’d lifted her by the hips up onto the kitchen table. There was no time to make it to the bedroom, and he thanked the powers that be they no longer needed to use a condom. Because he was going to take her here, needing to be inside her before he exploded. He was rock hard. Lifting her buttocks, he’d pulled her closer to the edge and then watched her face as he slipped inside. Watched her face as she closed her eyes and let passion overtake her.
They rocked, locked together at the pelvis as he took her, hard, fast, and deep. Lacey’s nails dug into the skin on his back as she moaned in pleasure. He became lost in the aching desire, mindless and vulnerable at the same time. His stomach tightened, and he’d known he was close. Lacey was panting in his ear now, urging him on, increasing their rhythm and he could feel her building toward her own crescendo. She’d tensed in his arms, clenching around him and he thrust a few more times, until, with a great shudder, Lacey cried out his name, and he let himself fall over the edge with her.
Afterward, he’d lifted her off the table and carried her to their bedroom, where they’d made love twice more, taking their time now their craving had been dampened by the quick, dirty, and oh so satisfying first time.
A kiss on his cheek woke him up, and he opened his eyes to see Lacey staring at him, eyes half-lidded with sleep. Wow, he must’ve fallen asleep after all.
“Your phone is ringing,” she said, pointing to the door, and he remembered his phone was still in the back pocket of his shorts.
He had half a mind to ignore it. Glancing at the digital clock on the bedside he saw it was after four. Most of the day was gone already. And what a day it’d been. But he knew he needed to answer the call, it was most likely work, and although he’d put it out of his mind for the past few hours, it was probably time to start thinking like a detective with a double murder case to solve again.
With a groan, he rolled out of bed and then leaned in to kiss Lacey on the forehead before walking buck naked down the hallway toward the kitchen and his discarded clothes. The phone had stopped ringing by the time he’d fished it out of his shorts.
