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Weju comes for sex then sneaks back to the long hut he shares with the other men. Our relationship is dangerous as are my thoughts.
The moment he’s gone, I’m back to silent tears.
I assume he knows I’m with child even though I have said nothing. The men here have little to do with their babies—it’s all women’s work. I have someone in my life, and I’ve never felt more alone.
It’s like I’m reliving my post-natal depression with Winston.
November 1963
The second trimester has been kind to me.
I’m no longer nauseous.
I have also found a way to bring some happiness.
I taught Weju how to make love.
Instead of intercourse like animals with him behind me, I have showed him how to love in the missionary position, since our time is limited with my growing belly, or I straddle him. And by holding his hands, I have showed him how to caress and just hold me tight when I need him to make me feel human.
42
EDEN
I slam the journal closed and let out a long sigh.
I can’t read anymore.
These are Gran’s private times.
My heart is racing.
They called Gran Tamu'ne Pupö.White woman.
I recall how the shaman recognized me on the day he appeared from the rainforest like magic as if my spirit called to him. Not exactly my spirit but Gran’s presence within me. In Ulara, my name was similar.
Tamu'ne Akare meaning white tortoise. At least they didn’t consider Gran to be a slow learner like me. Still, my head is spinning, thinking about her time in the village as well as mine.
Samuel has fallen asleep, so I switch off my light and close my eyes ready to dream about Gran.
* * *
I wake before Samuel.
It’s light enough for me to read, and I’m surprised Rose hasn’t woken yet.
Last night my dreams were of Gran, and somehow, we were in the jungle together. In my subconscious, I wanted to help her. I’m scared for her as I know what happens in the end.
Placing another pillow behind my head, I open her journal and keep reading until my family stirs from their sleep.
43
IVY
December 1963
Last night when I ventured out of my hammock, there were stars above the trees, and I caught the light from the moon in the cloudless night sky. It was like seeing rolling green hills of endless countryside after spending months in a cave.
Again the rain has eased.
