Page 82 of Christmas Kisses


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Colby’s reddish eyebrows went up even farther. “Shit.”

“Yeah, that sums it up pretty well.” Jim sighed, still staring through the windows in the big double doors, though she was long gone. There was only the steady, swirling patterns made by the snow and shifting wind in the glow of the outdoor lightsFinally he shook himself. “Come on in. I have to go make sure she didn’t wake Tyler with all her bull.”

Jim turned and walked into his apartment with Colby on his heels. He didn’t have to tell his longtime friend to close and lock the door behind him. They were cops, they did some things automatically.

Jim stood for a long moment in Tyler’s bedroom. It wasn’t dark. He always left a night-light on for his son—a little blue cartoon hound-dog lit by a Christmas-tree lightbulb. The same blue dog and numerous blue paw prints decorated the bedspread, the sheets and the pillowcase. A strip of wallpaper border halfway up the wall sported the same character. There was even a blue “thinking chair” in the corner.

And in the midst of it all, snuggled deep in the covers, lay Tyler. Hair too thick and a little too long and looking like a mixture of honey and amber. Eyes usually sparkling with mischief and intelligence, and so big you could fall right into them, but closed now as he slept. He lay with his lashes resting on his chubby cheeks, hugging a stuffed blue dog. Still sound asleep.

“He okay?” Colby whispered.

Jim turned, saw his friend in the doorway and nodded. “Never even knew she was here,” he said. He walked softly out of the bedroom, pulled the door closed, but not all the way. Colby handed him one of the beers he’d taken from the fridge, and the two headed for the sofa and sat.

“That’s a blessing,” Colby said. “He doesn’t even remember her, does he?”

“No. He only knows his birth mother had to go far, far away and can’t ever be a mom.”

Colby nodded slow, sipped his beer as he got comfortable. “Any progress finding him a new one?” He asked it with a slight smile, as if he still wasn’t convinced Jim was serious about his ongoing project

“I’ve crossed the first ten candidates off the list. Have to find some new prospects before I can move on.”

Colby blinked. “You’re kidding, right? I mean, you’re really... auditioning women for this?”

“Dating. As far the women know, anyway. Hell, it’s not exactly honest, but I need to find out what they’re about before I make any kind of decision here. I need a woman who can love him the way I do. That’s a tall order to fill. She’s got to be willing to put him first in her life, ahead of everything else. Family, career, friends—”

“You?”

Jim nodded. “Me, certainly. And herself most of all. I don’t want another selfish bitch within a hundred miles of Tyler.”

Colby seemed to consider that. “I didn’t think you were that serious about all this. Hell, Jim, you really mean to get married to a woman you don’t love, may not even be attracted to, just to give Tyler a mother?” He searched Jim’s face. “It seems kinda... cold.”

“Love doesn’t enter into it. Sex doesn’t have to either. It’s about Ty—he’s what’s important.” Jim lowered his head. “I can’t be with him all the time. The nannies aren’t working out, the physical therapy is torture and all he does is cry. Night after night the kid cries, asking me why he doesn’t have a mom. All the kids in his preschool class do, the kids he sees at his doctor’s appointments and PT sessions, even the kids on television. He’s suffering.”

Colby nodded. “But lots of kids don’t have moms. He can do just fine without one.”

“But he doesn’thaveto. He’s suffered enough. Anything I can give that kid to make his life easier, to make it happier, come hell or high water, Colby, I’ll damn well do it. Hell, I’m a decent-looking man.”

“A stud-muffin, according to the girls in the prosecutor’s office,” Colby said.

Jim shot him a look and went on with his analysis. “I earn a good living. And I’ll tell you, if I can find a woman who’d be the kind of mother Tyler needs, I’d treat her like solid gold.”

“Except for loving her. You won’t do that.”

Jim tipped his head back, looked at the ceiling. “Who’d have pegged you for a sappy romantic, pal? I told you, love has nothing to do with it.”

“It isn’t gonna work without it, Jim.”

“No? Well, it didn’t work too well with it, either. I loved Ang. Look where that got me. More importantly, look where it got Tyler.” He pursed his lips, shook his head. “Nope. I don’t need to love her. Just need her to love my son.”

Jim took a pull from his longneck brown bottle and set it down. “So what’s up, partner? I know damn well you didn’t come all the way over here to talk about my love life.”

Colby nodded. “No, you’re right. But I have to admit, this whole mommy finding mission fascinates me. We, uh—we have a problem. With the Stefano case.”

Jim frowned. “Funny, that’s what Ang was here to talk to me about.”

Colby looked up fast. “No kidding? What about it?”

“Skinny Vinnie’s her new boyfriend. Hooked up with her sometime after we busted him—probably as soon as he made bail and paid a P.I. to check into our backgrounds, looking for some leverage. He’s got her asking me to back off on my testimony.”

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