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With sand between my toes and the sound of ocean waves in my ears, I usually felt at peace. But, despite our long walk on the beach that evening, I still felt a bit unsettled.
My role with House Dumont was at the top of the list of things currently overworking my mind. I had walked away from the closest thing to a sure deal—a spot in House Vitruvian and a life with Jay—and ventured into uncharted territory with my role in the newest House on the High Council, House Dumont.
Accepting the senior counselor position with House Dumont had been a gamble, and I did not gamble. I kept my head down and worked hard until I reached the next milestone. But I found myself in a situation where hard work alone was not enough. There was no top grade to earn if I put in the time and effort. There were decisions to be made, and no matter how much work I put in, they would either turn out to be the right choices or the wrong ones.
But it wasn’t just my role at the High Court that had me feeling out of sorts. It was also the entire fiasco with Stefan. How had I been so wrong about him? Jay had seemed to have some kind of specific and personal dislike toward the musician, but I had written that off as just part and parcel with Jay’s near constant jealousy. And when Stefan had chosen to abandon House Tragon rather than leave the Court with Lila and Cole Tragon, I had taken that as further confirmation that Stefan was not as bad as Jay had made him out to be.
But it turned out Stefan wasmuch, muchworse. And now I was questioning everything about my judgment. Maybe accepting the position with House Dumont had been a mistake. Maybe leaving House Vitruvian and Jay had been a colossal error in judgment that I would never be able to recover from.
And then there was the constant limbo I found myself in with Luke these days. He was my best friend. But he was so much more than that—even when I had been with Jay, he had felt like something more and different to me. And then, after Jay, I jumped straight into Stefan’s bed, not Luke’s. It was never jealousy between Luke and me, not really. Maybe more like envy because the people we took to our beds got to experience a part of us we did not share with each other. He had lusted for me at times. I had lusted for him at other times. We flirted and teased and stepped right up to that line but never over it. We weren’t together, but we were definitely more than just friends.
I lay on a lounge on the veranda off Luke’s bedroom as he strummed an acoustic guitar, a pastime for him, nothing more. My mind continued to wander despite the normally soothing sounds of waves gently crashing in the background. But then Luke added words to the song he strummed, bringing me back into the moment.
I drank in the sight of him. I had been struck by his easy smiles and good looks since the first time I met him. He was leaning against a tall stool, his white long-sleeve linen shirt unbuttoned to reveal a swath of luscious hair on his muscled chest. On the top of his lip, he had grown out a silly mustache, something I liked to tease him about, even though it only added to his roguish charm.
I decided, right then and there, that I could never truly be lost as long as I could find my way back to Luke. He was my bedrock, my very foundation, since the moment I had set foot at the High Court.
I stood and walked toward where he sat. He looked up from his guitar and continued singing as he followed me with his sharp blue eyes as I crossed the room. I held his stare as I stopped directly in front of him, letting my need fill my eyes. I gently grasped his strong jaw and lifted his face to mine. Then I brought my mouth to his, a gentle, inquiring kiss, brushing my lips against his.
“Alarie,” he growled, his deep voice penetrating me to my core.
His hands stilled, resting on the strings of his guitar. Hunger burned in his eyes. We had danced around it for so long. We had both wanted it for so long but took turns denying it from each other.
The look in his eyes asked if this was smart, if we were just going to fuck everything up.No, I answered him with the intensity of my gaze. We wouldn’t fuck it up. Same as we had always done, we would take from each other only what we had to give and no more. There were no expectations in our situationship.
With immortal speed, he carefully set the guitar down and scooped me into his arms. I jumped to meet his embrace, wrapping my legs around him as he carried me toward his bed. My hunger for him was ravenous. It was like we had been sitting in the dark all this time and someone finally let in the light. I ran my fingers through the hair on his chest as I kissed and bit his neck.
He threw me onto his bed unceremoniously, and I laughed. Luke always made me laugh. He crawled onto the bed after me with a devious smile on his face. In my head, I’d cataloged every smile I’d ever received from Luke, but the smile he gave me now was one that I had never seen before, and it actually made my heart stop. He took my breath away. My hand went to my chest, grasping for the air to return to my lungs.
I lay on his bed, propped up by my elbows, watching him. Luke crawled toward me until he was on all fours, hovering above me but not touching me.
“I want this,” he said simply, indicating his body over mine. “I wantyou,” he said, his desire plain in his eyes.
The look in his baby-blue eyes warned me that if we went any further, there would be no turning back for us. I knew it cost him something to admit that this meant more to him than just his body pressed against mine.
“What do you want, Al?” he asked, his tongue running along his bottom lip.
I didn’t hesitate, my mind already made up.
“I want you to fuck me, Luke,” I replied, having been taught long ago to voice my most explicit desires.
Instead of being encouraged by my rough language, the desire on Luke’s face seemed to falter for a moment. I realized that he’d put himself out there, and I’d responded with pure lust.
“I want you, too, Luke. Ineedyou,” I explained, cupping his square jaw in the palm of my hand. “The only time I feel complete is when I’m with you,” I said, baring myself to him.
It was true. When I was around Luke, the worries that normally filled my head about what I was doing with my life dulled to a low hum or disappeared entirely.
He fell onto me, moving his hard muscled body between my legs. His mouth devoured me. He moved his tongue so deep into my mouth that I had to open wide and tilt my head back to grant him better entry. He worked his hard cock, still contained by his pants, against the part of me that throbbed with my unsated desire for him. I ached with my need to have him inside of me so badly that it physically hurt.
My dress already pushed up, I wrapped my legs around his body, trying to eliminate every inch between us. He pulled at my clothing, yanking the top of my dress down until my breasts spilled out. He lowered his mouth to my right breast and roughly grabbed my left breast with his other hand. When I felt his tongue circle around my nipple, I threw my head back.
“Oh my fucking gods,” I moaned, digging a hand into his soft hair.
I felt like I might break from the feel of his mouth on me alone. He made to move lower down my body. I thought about the circling of his tongue lower on my body, and the ache inside of me sharpened painfully. I grabbed him and pulled him back toward my mouth.
“I need you inside of me.Now,” I demanded.
A truly animalistic growl escaped his throat, and he looked like he might rip my dress right off of me. We were wearing entirely too many clothes, but there was no time to properly undress. My breasts exposed and dress hiked up to my torso, I clawed at his pants. We both pulled at the buttons in our urgency, and when his hard length was at last free, I pulled his body on top of mine.
