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Kai was slowly spinning on his heels in the water, looking utterly exhausted. “Dude,what? Calm down, man. We were just checking out this human pool.” He stretched his arms and let out an enormous yawn. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure humans don’t even have dicks.”
Uh,what?
“Fucking idiot,” Leander ground out, taking a step. “That’s your dick, man. Right there.” He pointed, and Kai looked down at his abdomen.
He took a second to inspect himself, his chin turning in thought. “Like dick,singular? As in onlyonedick?”
“Uh, yeah. Why would you need more than one?” I broke in, realizing too late that I was also inspecting his junk. Though water obscured it, I still recalled how it’d felt pressed against my inner thigh.
Kai continued like he hadn’t even heard my question, his hands patting down his belly, his ass, over his thighs, between his legs. “Well, I looked all over for them when I first transformed, but I couldn’t find my claspers anywhere.”
“Your what?” I said flatly. The heck was aclasper?If this was some sort of act, he deserved an award. He looked legitimately clueless.
“You know… My claspers,” he continued, his throat clearing like he was embarrassed to even mention them. I was about to look over to Leander for help when Kai did a little scissoring motion with his hands over his crotch. That was an image I wouldn’t be able to shake any time soon. “My claspers. My, uh, my dicks.”
Leander took another step, his foot teetering on the edge of the pool like he might just dive in and wring Kai’s neck. “Humans don’t have claspers, you fucker. But theydohave dicks, and you’re looking right at yours.”
“Huh?” Kai pinged back, still clueless. He leaned forward, both his hands cupping his junk now. “Well, this is what I use to take a tinkle, but there are these soft, squashy things down here in this pouch thingy.” He shimmied his shoulders with a grunt as he tugged on them. “But they definitely couldn’t hold on to anyone. Their structural integrity is just not—”
“Spike-tailed idiot.Try the limp shrimp you’ve got hanging above them,” Leander grumbled. He raked a hand through his hair as he shook his head. “Most merfolk just have one, you know. And ours aren’t covered in fucking barbs.”
“One?” Kai’s head shot back up, his eyebrows raising in surprise. “But how do you hold your mate in place while you—” His voice dropped to a whisper, his cheeks flaming. “Uh, you know…”
I turned my attention to Leander with interest. “Well, Lee?”
I squeaked as a rough hold seized my hips, Leander jerking my ass flush against the tops of his legs. His chin dipped, his voice a low growl in my ear. “Like this.”
Kai watched us, head slowly nodding in contemplation, like he was working out the viability of the hip hold. “Yeah, I don’t think that would work, dude. Not with our tails, at least,” he said finally, his shoulders raising in a shrug. “I don’t know how you fan-tails do it.”
“What’s with all this spike-tail, fan-tail talk?” I asked, trying to turn to Leander. The fingers holding on to my hips held me firmer, and I rolled my eyes. “Ex-mermaid here, remember? Someone’s gonna have to clue me in.”
Leander’s throat cleared, his chest puffing behind me. “We’refan-tails. Our forms are the likeness of the mighty Poseidon himself.”
Cue more eye rolling.
“Then there are spike-tails,” Leander continued in a slightly mocking tone. “Modeled after the ocean’s most murderous, unintelligent—”
“Sharks,” Kai cut in. His bright grin flashed at me, clearly unphased by Leander’s gibe. “Our tails look a lot like a shark’s.” His head turned back down in wonder. “So, this is my one dick?” he whispered. He poked at it a couple of times, but it remained spent and lifeless. It was still bigger than a freaking shrimp, though. Especially when a pulse of water got it going. Freaking Leander and his insults.
“So that means I just—” All the color drained from Kai’s face, like he’d finally realized what he’d done in the pool. “Dude.”
“Yeah, dicks are great,” Leander monotoned. “You can thank me for the anatomy lesson by keeping it to your fucking self.” His grip around me loosened as he went to lead me away. “Come on, Claira. Let’s head back.”
“Is that why you came here? To drag me back?” I asked, not really appreciating his authoritative tone. I knew it pissed him off coming here to find Kai basically humping my back, but he was acting like he didn’t just have another woman latched on to him as well. Even if it had been all a trick of mermaid magic, this had been a misunderstanding, too.
“Not to drag you back, no. I came because Barren showed up,” Leander said, and I couldn’t stop from shuddering at Barren’s name. They’d spoken already? Did that mean—?
“He was looking for Kai. He’s got that pet of his, Lavaburn, in the car. She kept chirping at me. These weird throat clicks that kind of made me uncomfortable. Anyway, they’re waiting outside to take him back with them.”
“Laverne,” I corrected, and Leander shrugged like her name hadn’t mattered to him one bit. Poor Laverne. She sure wasn’t making much progress in the love department.
“Did you bring actual clothes with you?” Leander asked suddenly, his eyes scanning around the pool.
“Of course I did,” I huffed, breaking out of his hold. “I just wore this to go swimming. Think you can keep your hands to yourself long enough for me to go change?”
“You didn’t wear this when you went swimming with me,” he said with a mock frown. Unamused by the teasing, my lips fell into a hard line.
“Okay, okay,” Leander relented, holding up his palms. “I’ll keep my hands to myself, so go get changed. I’ll let Barren know I found you both.”
