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Should I say something to her?
Every fiber of my being wants to ask her what the fuck is going on. I feel as if I’m owed an explanation. Do I want to hear about her affair? No, I don’t. I don’t need the details. Just the why. Why not just leave me? Us? Why the big song and dance?
I slam my hand against the steering wheel in aggravation. The more I think about the situation, the angrier I become. What’s the point? She’s likely to lie or tell me it’s none of my business when I think it is.
Did this man come to Beaumont?
Was he in our home?
Our bed?
Around our children?
Amelie comes toward the car, with a bright smile on her face. I know I’m going to tell her before I can even think about the pros and cons. Shehasto know, mostly for my own peace of mind.
“Hi, Daddy,” she says as she climbs into the back. “How was your day?”
“Hey, sweetie.” I steer the car back into traffic and turn toward the apartment, thankful it’s a five-minute drive. “How was school?” I ask, avoiding her question.
“Meh,” she says shrugging. I catch the act in the rearview mirror and smile. She’s animated, adventurous, and temperamental. The latter comes with age and I know she’ll grow out of it. Damn it, I’m going to miss her, and hate the idea of leaving her. I don’t care if I have months left, leaving her behind is going to destroy my soul.
Amelie catches me staring and gives me a wide, beautiful toothy smile. I love her more than my own life. Her and Mack. My pride and joy. The best parts of me.
I park and help her out of the car, carrying her backpack. She leads us upstairs and waits for me to unlock the door. For everything she’s going through, she’s managing well.
“Can I watch TV?”
“How much homework do you have?”
“Some reading and spelling words.”
“Let’s do that first, and then you can watch TV while I make dinner.”
“Can we call Mack?” she asks as she empties her backpack onto the table. I look at the calendar app on my phone and see that he has a game.
“Probably not,” I tell her. “He’s got a game, so he’ll be busy after school.”
“I miss him.”
“I know. Me too.”
Beyond measure. Being separated from him is the worst feeling in the world.
I help Amelie with her homework. We run through her spelling words, mastering them by the third try. She sets off to the living room to watch her show while I whip us up something to eat. After dinner, she showers and then joins me on the couch.
“I want to talk to you about something,” I tell her. She sits crossed legged in front of me, with the most serious ten-year-old expression she can muster. “It’s adult stuff.”
Her nose crinkles. I can’t say I don’t blame her.
“You know Mom and I love you very much, right?” She nods. “And you know we’re not going to live in the same house anymore, right?” Her happy-go-lucky expression changes. The sadness in her eyes breaks my heart.
“You’re going back to live with Mack, aren’t you?”
I shake my head slowly. “Not right away, but yes, I will. Your mom wants you to stay here with her, and Mack needs to stay in Beaumont. But once he’s done with high school, I’ll move back here with you. Okay?”
Amelie nods, but the smile doesn’t return.
“Some more adult stuff,” I tell her. “I want you to know, that if there’s ever a situation that you don’t like or you need me, I’m only a phone call away.” I hold my phone up. “There are going to be some changes in your life and they might be hard to deal with. You may not like them.” Lord knows I don’t. “And well . . .” I’m suddenly at a loss for words. How do I tell my impressionable daughter that her mother is marrying another man?
