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A deflated sigh leaves me. How I wish it would be as simple as it was in high school. Luke and his friends were older, but they’d always let me hang out with them. They were the kings of Stoneview Prep, and I felt invincible by their sides.
“I’m going to get some sleep,” I tell him.
“It’s barely ten. Come on.” He shakes me. “It’ll help you deal with the news.”
I offer him a pinched smile and shake my head. Sliding out of bed, I walk to my desk and sit down, picking up a pen. “I still have a few holiday cards to fill in. Dad wants me to distribute them to his closest friends.” We eye each other for a second, knowing theclosest friendsare members of the Silent Circle.
Luke walks over to me, putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “Trust me, El’s, I know this is the best decision for you.”
“You don’t,” I push through gritted teeth.
“I’ve been in this fucked-up world for longer than you have, and I’ve managed to survive dad and the Circle. Being an attorney means you can be away from here. It’s better for you to work for him than end up being one of the wives. Take the opportunity at having a tiny slice of independence. It’s that or be like mom. I know that’s not what you want. You’d shrivel down and die inside if you were in her place. It’s a way to give you freedom.”
“Dad isn’t doing it for me.”
“No. It was my idea.”
“What?” I choke on the news.
“You are not the kind of woman who could be a Shadow’s wife. You know that as much as I do. Working for dad will protect you from that. If you have a different use than being a housewife, you’ll be safe from an arranged marriage. That’s all I care about.”
“But…I could be a dancer. That’s—”
“No use to him.”
“He just doesn’t believe I can do it.”
“You could do anything with the Circle’s influence, El’s. But are you willing to pay the debt you’ll owe?”
“I could do it on my own!” I snap.
The look of sadness kills me.
“You don’t believe in me either, do you?”
He runs a hand through his hair, pinching his lips. “I can’t take that risk. You’re my little sister. The last thing I want is for you to end up in the clutches of a Shadow, stuck in a loveless marriage with a sicko who’s never been told no in his entire life. Like Mom. I’m doing this for you.”
My eyes drop to the Christmas cards in front of me. Every year, I have to write them and go hand them out myself to every Shadow in town. It takes me forever, and I have to do a little every day. Those are the last few I’m going to deliver tomorrow.
They’re black with gold dust, stars sparkling, and gold writing sayingMerry Christmas from…to…The background is as dark as the Shadow’s souls.
Inside, there’s a cryptic message my dad had me write.
Merry Christmas to you
Relish a new order
A new year awaits if you wish to stay.
I know it has something to do with confirming the member of the order is welcome to be part of the Silent Circle for another year. Sometimes, people don’t get to stay. If they lost value or if they don’t bring anything to the Circle anymore, they’re kicked out. Because my father is part of the board, he’s the one who gets to send the renewal of their membership, as I like to call it. But I’m confused as to why he is talking about a new order.
I sigh. I can’t even blame my brother for what he’s done. What if I did end up useless but for becoming a housewife. I don’t want to marry a Shadow from the Silent Circle. I want independence.
“Law sucks,” I huff.
“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Luckily two of my best friends are starting law school. And one of them is a genius. So, you’ll have all the help you need.” His pale eyes darken in the low light. “Just nevereverask dad to use his contacts to help you pass, Ella. The Shadows don’t give anything for free, and their prices are heavy.”
I gulp, nodding, then I gather my courage. “Are you—”
