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As he led my brother through the doorway I lost control of my mouth. “I have to go back. I have to stop her.”
Kol’s mouth tightened, but my father sighed dispassionately. “Let us speak with Draven and his Council before making any rash decisions. Killing Sersha will have major consequences for more than just you.”
“You think telling them any of this is a wise decision?”
“They granted you sanctuary, daughter mine. An explanation is the least we can give them in return.”
“Then it’s not really sanctuary, is it?”
“Call it what you want. Either way, they healed you and are willing to protect you. You’d be wise to show some degree of appreciation. I trust the Shadow Council implicitly. They’ve more than earned my confidence so be careful how you speak to them.”
My power pulsed and I cursed silently for letting my emotions affect my magic.
As if sensing my distress, he tempered his tone. “I have friends on the Council, Raven. I don't have many in my life that I can call true friends, yet I count several here at Embour. If you trust nothing else, trust me when I say they’ll help if at all possible.”
The ruler of the Shadowlands could not assist me in taking down Sersha. It would start a war between the fae and the Shadow demons. Besides, I was bloodbound to the deal with Malcolm. I’d be the one issuing the challenge.
It was on the tip of my tongue to confess the pact with Malcolm to my family. My jaw clicked shut before I did something stupid. If I wanted the Fae Queen’s Consort to keep his silence, I’d have to watch what I said. Though I’d explained things, I wasn’t ready to admit what I’d readily agreed to bind myself to.
“Fine,” I snipped, walking towards the bathroom. “I’ll be down as soon as I can.”
Kol took off and my father lingered. “Raven.”
“What?”
When he didn’t answer I turned around.
“It will be better for everyone, especially for you, if you ditch the chip on your shoulder.”
“Forgive me if being held prisoner and broken into pieces has made me cranky.”
“I wasn’t talking about the torture. Torture you can apparently handle. I’m disturbed by it, though not surprised. I’m also tempted to praise you but what kind of father would that make me?”
“The kind who raised me to be able to handle anything.”
Father clicked his teeth as he always did when he wasn’t sure what to say to me. I decided to move the conversation beyond his parenting skills.
“If you weren’t speaking of torture, what were you talking about?”
“Wounds borne of hate never cut as deep as wounds borne of love.”
“You would know.”
Father’s melancholy smile gutted me. I hated myself for saying it. My mother had broken something inside of him. As far as I knew, he’d never so much as looked at another female since she left us. For years I’d been tempted to cut that bond.
I’d once asked him if, assuming it was possible, he’d choose to sever it. He’d smiled ruefully and told me he doubted it would change much for him, which only increased the temptation.
To go against his wishes would be an unforgivable act, but I sometimes thought it might just be worth it. It wasn’t right the way he held on to the pain.
“True. But I’m not the one who’s been trying to prove myself for half my life. I know my strength. I know the worth of my soul. Can you say the same?”
That was my sire, striking right at the heart of things as candidly as he pleased. Logically, I knew what my mother had done to me all those years ago had altered me on a fundamental level.
As a child, I’d already been brazen. The fallout from my mother’s actions had made me reckless with my own safety, driven to prove to myself that I was strong enough to handle anything. It hadn’t been a serious problem until now.
“The risks you’ve been taking in search of whatever it is you’re seeking? The cost is high. You think you’re prepared to pay the price. Maybe you are. But you’re forgetting what it’s costing those around you. You didn’t see what Nik was like when you ended it and left without so much as a goodbye to him.You didn’t see how Kol reacted when I carried you out of Ansley Keep. He thought you were dead and nearly destroyed the castle. He reacted the same way once you were on Hugo’s table and had to be magically drugged.”
I lowered my eyes to his boots.
