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“That was full demon?”
“The eyes, at least. And unwittingly releasing shadows like that. It usually only happens in battle or when … when we feel something deeply.”
The temperature of my core rose a degree. Or ten. I ignored it. “Like rage?” I pushed.
Though his irises were still mostly hidden, a thin ring of silver brightened as he looked me over. “Among other things.”
Hecate help me.
“Did I scare you?” he asked softly.
“No.”
Casimir nodded. “Good. It was not my intention.”
“I know.”
Silence descended and held us in place. Tension was mounting once more, but for an entirely different reason. I swallowed, feeling suddenly parched.
“I’ve never been in love before,” I blurted, inexplicably offering him the words he’d attempted to force from me. Apparently my mouth still had a mind of its own.
His eyes widened and some of the strain drained from his face. What I didn’t tell him was that I’d tried, but my heart had always remained my own.
If anyone would have had a chance, it would have been Nik, the one male I’d trusted to want me for me and not for what my father could do for him. But you couldn’t force yourself to love another.
“Were you and Kree together? Ever?”
His head shook. “No.”
“Did you want to be?”
More of the darkness faded and once more I could see the full grey of his eyes. “There was a time,” he paused, putting his hands on his hips and looking off to the side.
“There was a time … ?” I prompted him to keep going.
“That I thought I was in love with her. I now know I wasn’t.”
“How can you be certain?”
“Because the feeling went away. Fast. And it didn’t hurt like it should have if I’d truly been in love with her. It was my pride that bore the brunt.”
“Then why did you think it was love?”
Casimir snorted with false humor. “Because I’m an idiot. You’ve met her. She makes everyone she encounters feel special and worthy. I’m dark on the inside. I liked how she made me feel as though I wasn’t tainted. It’s probably something to do with her healing magic. Wounded animals are drawn to both her and Lyric. Of course I would be, as well. There was never any sort of sexual pull or driving need to possess her. Not like there is with …”
His words trailed off. Or I thought they did. I might have lost some of my senses under the weight of his stare.
Casimir cleared his throat. “I wanted to feel worthy. Sometimes, she helped me believe I was, at least for a few moments in her presence. I sought her out because of it.”
Some of the sourness in my stomach receded. “I think I can understand that,” I told him.
“With you, it’s different.”
“I don’t make you feel worthy?” I challenged, not meaning for it to come out quite so harsh.
He grimaced. “You make me want to be worthy. Of you. I want to be who you need, not just to make myself feel better, but because it’s what you deserve. I vow to do whatever is in my power to be … to make myself better.”
His pain, the belief he wasn’t good enough, made my heart hurt. The ache blunted the teeth gnawing at my jealous soul.
